THE DAILY GROANER - Wed., August 15th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

Today I'm a deep thinker... not a stinker.

I've been pondering the big questions lately. Why are we here? Is there an afterlife? Is there a God? Where did we come from? How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? You know, stuff like that.

I have a great joke that goes with my line of questioning.

Q: What did God say after he created man?

A: I can do better than this!

I thought you'd appreciate that one, lady readers!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Highway to Heaven --*
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

Cop: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow?"

Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65."

Cop: "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!

Sister: Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful.

At this point the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.

Cop: Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible.

Sister: Oh, we just got off of highway 119.


*-- Whiskey and Water --*
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.

After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"

He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?

A: Cockerpoodledoo!


Q: Why do dogs run in circles?

A: Because its hard to run in squares!

***
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