THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, June 6th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

And now for something random...

Was there ever a time that you thought that you heard voices in your head... and then it turned out that you forgot that you were listening to a book on tape?

This happens to me at least twice a week.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Questions? Comments? Jokes? Email Steve

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+-- Who Are You? --+
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

+-- How Old Are You? --+
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-six," he said.

+-- Q and A Quickies --+
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?

A: Blow in her ear.


Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?

A: She was run over by the Zamboni machine.

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