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THE DAILY GROANER - September 26, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


Stacy wasn't feeling too well, so we spent a day in the hospital together. It was kind of nice to get out of the house a spend some quality time just the two of us.

The best part of our day was during the endless hours of waiting for somebody to give her the "once over" there was a rather interesting young lady that seemed to be in need of medical attention, too...I think.

Here's what happened when the aforementioned young laaaaaaddddyyyy talked to one of the receptionists.

Receptionist: Hello. What brings you in today?

Young Lady: My legs.

Receptionist: What's seems to be the problem with your legs?

Young Lady: No. My legs are what brought me in here.

Receptionist: Okay. What brought you here?

Young Lady: A Car.

Receptionist: What?

Young Lady: A Ford Escort actually. My Uncle Bill drove me.

Receptionist: I'm sorry. Can you please tell me what the problem is?

Young Lady: My car is in the shop. I called Uncle Bill and asked him to drive me here. He's not happy about it, let me tell you.

Receptionist: No. Please tell me why you came to the hospital?

Young Lady: Cuz I'm sick.

Receptionist: Okay. Sick, how?

Young Lady: I don't know. That's why I came here.

I know what's wrong...she's a stone cold moron! Damn, I'm good! I knew I should have become a doctor.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Gotta Light? --*

There are three guys in a boat with four cigarettes. They have no matches or anything and were trying to come up with a way to smoke their cigarettes.

"I got it!" said the one guy as he threw one of his cigarettes overboard.

"Why did you do that?" yelled his buddy.

To which he replied, "To make the boat a little lighter."



*-- Can You Dig It? --*

Little Donna was in the back yard filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the rosy-faced youngster was doing, he asked, "What are you doing there, Donna?"

"My goldfish died," replied little Donna tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor laughed and said condescendingly, "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Little Donna patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."



*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why couldn't the pirate get to Davy Jones' Locker?

A: He didn't know Davy Jones' combination...


Q: What do you get when you cross a lobster with a baseball player?

A: A pinch hitter.

***

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