THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, March 12th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

I didn't sleep very well last night. It's weird when you don't sleep well. You begin to notice things that you normally just ignore or overlook.

You notice the temperature, moisture in the air, light, textures, sounds... you know, things of that sort. Last night, I noticed something very interesting.

While tossing and turning I noticed something that I hadn't before, my pillow is starting to smell like a stack of flapjacks. So I guess I better go to the store and get a new pillow before I try to eat my old one the next time I take a snooze. And I think I'll stop for pancakes on the way.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- I Thought You Were My Wife --*
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."


*-- A Brain, A Bar and A Beer --*
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer, please."

The bartender looks at him and says, "Sorry, I can't serve you."

"Why not?" asks the brain.

Bartender says, "You're already out of your head."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?

A: To get his teeth crowned.


Q: What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?

A: A headbanger.

***
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