THE DAILY GROANER - June 29, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

I am so sick and tired of all the rain that's been...raining down. I mean it's great for the grass and all of the plants, and the car does need a washing, but come on, it's summer!

I can't remember a time when I was outside for more than three minutes before I said like an old man, "I don't like the look of them clouds."

And where's the sun? The last time I saw anything orange and bright I was drinking some OJ for breakfast.

Mother Nature, cut out the water works for a while, will ya? If this keeps up I'm going to have to ring out my house.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- I'm Not Happy --*
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!

He looked up at me and said, 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'


*-- How Old Am I? --*
The teacher noticed that Al had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention.

"Al," she said, "If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?

"Thirty-four," Al answered unhesitatingly.

The teacher replied "Well, that's not far from my actual age. Tell me...how did you guess?"

"Oh, there's nothing to it," Al said. "My big sister is seventeen and she's only half-crazy."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?

A: "Don't worry, I've got you covered!"


Q: What happens when a cat eats a lemon?

A: It becomes a sourpuss.

***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives