THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, March 4th 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

I'm in kind of a weird mood today so I hope you enjoy these random thoughts that I just had. I surprise myself sometimes.

- If you carpeted the inside of your van, would you get a lot of static for it?

- If you hoard mortar on the border does that make you a Mortar Border Hoarder?

- Here's a great name for a sporting goods store: "Balls, Sticks, and Jocks!"

- Common sense is not too common. Neither is common courtesy. Or common knowledge.

- Is whiskey at any point during its production come in contact with a whisk?

I don't know karate, but I know ka-razy!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Paying the Price --*
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"


*-- The Dog Needs Some Exercise --*
The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.

"You need to make sure the dog runs around," the doctor said. "Try playing a game of fetch."

"I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said.

"Why not?" the doctor asked.

"Because," she replied, "He can't throw."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did one vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?

A: Let's stop in for a cool one.


Q: Which day is stronger, Sunday or Monday?

A: Sunday. Monday is a weekday.


Q: What does an envelope say when you lick it?

A: Nothing. It just shuts up.

***
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