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THE DAILY GROANER - December 16, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,


Are you ready for some Good News... and some Bad News?

Here's the Good News: I saw Krampus over the weekend and it was awesome!

Here's the Bad News: It was so scary that it made me Krampus my pants.

Here's the Bad News: The basement flooded over the weekend.

Here's the Good News: We have an indoor pool now.

Here's the Good News: We took the boys to see Santa.

Here's the Bad News: Baby Sean ripped a chunk of beard off of Old Saint Nick.

Here's the Good News: I had some yogurt for breakfast.

Here's the Bad News: The yogurt was four months old.

Here's the Good News: Now it's time the some Daily Groaner Jokes.

Here's the Bad News: Now it's time the some Daily Groaner Jokes.

Hey, take what you can get!

Groaningly yours,
Steve


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*


Q: What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

A: "Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back."


Q: How does the man in the moon eat his food?

A: In satellite dishes.


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What kind of bees make milk?

A: BOO-BEES!


Q: Why did the cook get arrested?

A: Because he beat an egg.


*-- Even More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you think of Flushing, NY?

A: I think it's a great idea.


Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?

A: Because the farmer had cold hands.

***

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