THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, July 25th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

I received a hilarious joke from a reader named Andy. It really made me laugh out loud at the office, so I thought I'd share it with you. Yes... YOU! Okay, here it comes. Enjoy.

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation.

Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."

Thanks for the joke, Andy.

Hey, all readers, feel free to submit jokes to this very publication, ask me questions or inform me of the enjoyment that you experience when reading the Daily Groaner.

Just, Email Steve

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Questions? Comments? Jokes? Email Steve

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*-- Learn A New Language --*
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.

"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"

*-- The Best Fish and Chips... --*
Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requests shelter there.

Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted.

After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers.

The first one says, "Hello, I am brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."

"I'm very pleased to meet you," replies the nun. "I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."

She turned to the other Brother and says "then you must be....?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?

A: Rep-tiles.

Q: Why was the broom late?

A: Because it overswept!

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