THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, April 8th 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

Do you ever talk to yourself?

I talk to myself all of the time. I usually talk to myself when I'm doing something that has multiple steps like assembling something, showering or shopping.

I talk to myself quite a bit. I talk to myself in public, at home and even in my sleep. It really freaks Stacy out... especially when I answer myself.

I was actually talking to myself while I was typing this column. I'm just glad that I'm such a good conversationalist or everyday of my life would be like a bad first date.

Weird, huh?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve:


*-- My Reason For Speeding --*
Doing 120 in a 65, he knew he was in trouble when the cop pulled in behind him with the roof lights on. Figuring he could just lose the cop he floored the Ferrari. 130, 140, 150 and still the cop was right on his tail. 170, 180, still could not ditch the cop. Giving up he pulled over.

The cop approached the car, "Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn't give you the biggest ticket this world has ever seen."

"Well," he stated, "Just last week my wife ran off with a cop."

"SO WHAT!!!" the cop screamed.

"I thought you were trying to bring her back."


*-- Dreams of a Bag Boy --*
This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for five years.

One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines, and the bag boy is real excited and asks the manager if he can work the juice machines.

The manager says no.

The bagger says, "But I've been working here for 5 years, why can't I run the juice machines?"

The manager goes, "I'm sorry, son, but, baggers can't be juicers."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?

A: Plenty of room.


Q: What did the chicken do at bat?

A: It fowled out.

***
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