THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Jan. 2nd 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

I know that winter just started, but it needs to end. I can't stand being cooped up indoors all day long. I need to get some fresh air. I need natural light. I need to feel nature's embrace. Do I come off sounding needy?

I think I'm going to spend the night outside. That's right. I am going to sleep in a sleeping bag in a tent outside at night. I have a tent, some snacks, water, a sleeping bag, a classic MAD Magazine and a flashlight all ready to go.

Before I venture out to my evening of outdoor adventure I should probably check the weather forecast. I'm not worried about cold temperatures because I am a vigorous, hot-blooded male that can take on anything that comes his way.

It's only going to be 16 degrees! Well, screw that! I'll be inside if you need me.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- If the Chute Doesn't Open... --*
The skydiving instructor was going through the question and answer period with his new students when one of them asked the usual question, "If our chute doesn't open and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have before we hit the ground?"

The jump master looked at him very seriously and said, "You have the rest of your life."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did they have a funeral for the frog?

A: Because he croaked.


Q: Why did the ox lose his job on the farm?

A: Because he couldn't take a yoke.


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What bird can lift the most?

A: A crane.


Q: What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?

A: The cold shoulder.

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