Subscribe to THE DAILY GROANER
 
Subscribe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 


THE DAILY GROANER - July 13, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


Why does it have to be so hot? I don't remember it ever being this hot last summer; Do you? People that say that they'd rather be hot than cold are just plain nuts!

It's so hot that I'm starting to sweat when I'm inside buildings with air conditioning. It's so hot I sweat when I think about sweating. It's so hot my sweat sweats.

This heat is really starting to get to me. Now I'm feeling crabby, uncomfortable, tired, upset, uneasy, worrisome, angry, bewildered, befuddled, sticky, distracted, unicorn, beef, stapler, wedding ring, sloppy joe, hat trick, wing, leg, butterscotch, biscuit, muffler, coffee, cheese-puppet, chalk-mask, mailbox, wizardry, bottlecap, nose-hair, Kenny Rogers, hickory, bacon, speed-bag, sandwich, webbing, puppy, bone, Alf, tower, button...

What happened? I think this heat is really starting to get to me.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Where do you buy chess supplies?

A: At a pawn shop.


Q: What did the wall say to the ceiling?

A: Meet you at the corner.



*-- What Do Blondes Drink? --*

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.

Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."

Bartender: "What is a B and C?"

Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."

Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."

Bartender: "What's a G and T?"

Redhead: "Gin and tonic."

Blonde: "I'll have a 15."

Bartender: "What's a 15?"

Blonde: "7 and 7."



*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

A: Rough! Rough!


Q: What did Neptune say to Saturn?

A: Give me a ring sometime!

***

Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives