THE DAILY GROANER - May 25, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

Future Baby is almost here! He's due in just over a week, but I think he's going to be a sizable little dude, so he might be here sooner than we think.

Stacy and I have that nervous excited feeling we had with Jack. I'm worried that I forgot everything I learned with baby Jack, but I really hope that it all comes flooding back when the little guy arrives.

Well, in anticipation for Future Baby the next few issue of The Daily Groaner will most likely be some of my "Greatest Hits" so please be patient and enjoy. And I will share Future Baby News with you as soon as I can (Name, Weight, Height, Smell, Hair/No Hair, Toes), that sort of stuff.

Thanks for reading and wish me lucky.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- The Cop and the Juggler --*
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

"What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop.

"I juggle them in my act."

"Oh, yeah? says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it."

The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the passer-by. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!


*-- The Waiting Game --*
Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale.

"I need to get your weight today," said the nurse.

Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied: "One hour and 45 minutes!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What kind of vehicle do you drive if you are leaving a
prostitute?

A: Tahoe.


Q: How do two psychiatrists greet each other?

A: You are fine, how am I?

***
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