THE DAILY GROANER - January 12, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

So the votes are in, they've been tallied, and here are the results - in the case of Steve vs. Stacy in "The Sneezing Debate" reader results are as follows:

Saying "Excuse Me" after a sneeze - 13 votes

Not saying "Excuse Me" after a sneeze - 3 votes

Both being appropriate - 6 votes

And other comments, claims, and disparaging things written about me or my knuckleheadedness - 6 votes

Thank you all for contacting me with your thoughts and a special thanks for all of you that backed me up. Stacy may not be happy about this so I may need to stay with one of you for an undetermined period of time. And I do snore.

Here are a few of the comments that caught my attention. They are now here for your enjoyment. Enjoy!

Originally comes from the GERMAN "gesundheit" which means "Bless you." It is not to be said until the THIRD SNEEZE in a row because that last sneeze indicates that you have sneezed Satan out of your system. --Victor
[The devil you say!]

You should say "excuse me" when the sneeze is violent enough to produce an accompanying fart that you're unable to hold in. --Phil
[Oh, I know. That's why I say "excuse me" each and every time.]

I say nothing when I sneeze, I'm embarrassed because it's not like there was anything I could do to stop it! Also everyone around me gets a shower, whether they needed it or not! --ME
[So a sneeze from ME is like getting front row seats at a Gallagher show?]

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Is That A Dog You Got Back There? --*
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.

"It sure is," I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"


*-- Learning Trade Secrets --*
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why should you always guard your rear while you're in the hospital?

A: You're in enema territory.


Q: Why did the Siamese twins go to England?

A: So that the other one could drive!

***
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