THE DAILY GROANER - September 2, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

I'm not a fan of spiders. They don't scare me so much as creep me out. Well, I did see one, I guess, that scared the crap out of me the other day.

Yesterday, I went outside to get the newspaper, yes, I still read an actual newspaper, and noticed this eight-legged creature the size of a football moving through my front yard. I almost screamed like a little girl, but luckily my neighbor distracted me with a friendly greeting.

I asked her if she had seen the horrifically fuzzy monster that I caught a glimpse of only moments ago. She said she did not and then asked me what I thought of her dog's Halloween costume. Apparently, she dressed her little yappy dog up as a black widow spider. I said nothing and went back inside with my paper, changed my underwear, and had a good cry.

I'm glad to say that I'm over my fear of spiders and now I think I have a weird fear of yappy little dogs in creepy costumes. Great! Like I don't have enough problems.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?

A: Only half way.


Q: Why can't a woman ask her brother for help?

A: Because he can't be a brother and assist her too.


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What kind of vegetable do you get when a giant walks through your garden?

A: A squash.


Q: What tree is karate champion?

A: Spruce Lee.


*-- Even More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do potatoes wear to bed?

A: Their yammies.


Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?

A: Buy a deck of cards.

***
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