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THE DAILY GROANER - August 17, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


I'm not a fan of spiders. They don't scare me so much as creep me out. Well, I did see one, I guess, that scared the crap out of me the other day.

Yesterday, I was in my basement and noticed this eight-legged creature the size of a canned ham crawling around. I almost screamed like a little girl three times, but luckily I kept it together.

In all of my travels I have never seen a spider that size. It was so big that it had a hairdo, a racing stripe and a saddle on its back. This dude was a biggun!

After locking eyes, many, many eyes with the beast I ran up the stairs, locked the door, then changed my underwear and had a good cry.

I'm glad to say that I'm over my fear of spiders, but I'll be damned if I'm going in that basement ever again. Well, not without the National Guard or The Avengers with me.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Not Enough --*

Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, "What did you learn today?"

"Not enough," Luke replies. "They said I have to go back tomorrow."




*-- The School You Go To --*

What kind of school do you go to if you're...

...an ice cream man? Sundae school.

...a giant? High school.

...a surfer? Boarding school.

...King Arthur? Knight school.




*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 110 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 115 m.p.h. Where did they meet?

A: In jail!


Q: What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

A: A teacher says, "Spit out that gum!" and a train says, "Chew! Chew!"

***

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