THE DAILY GROANER - April 27, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,

I have never really been a do-it-yourself kind of guy when it comes to home repairs and things of that nature, but as a homeowner eventually you have to give it a try.

Just yesterday I weed-whacked, cut the grass, trimmed the hedges, changed my car's oil, fixed the lock on our gate, and since Sean is starting to walk, I put up the baby gates. I got quite a bit accomplished.

Today, my tasks will include re-doing all of the work from yesterday, but this time correctly, with the help of my dad because I did know what the hell I was doing. Well, the yard doesn't look too bad. Hey, it's grass, it will grow back.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did Sally give up on her ballet lessons?

A: Because they were too too difficult.


Q: Why does it take longer to run from second to third base than it does from first to second?

A: Because you have a short stop between second and third.


*-- A Man Walks Into A Bar... --*
A man walks into a bar with a little salamander-looking creature in his hand. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.

"Tiny," replies the man.

"Why's that?" asks the bartender.

"Because he's my newt!"


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

A: Ten-ticles!!!

(Joke Courtesy of SnuggleMonkey)


Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?

A: Someday my prints will come!

***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives