THE DAILY GROANER - May 21, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

Here's a random thought that I had the other day. I was wondering why a stick of gum is a long, narrow rectangle. Who decided that? Was it even up for a discussion?

What I don't get is, why a rectangle? Why not a triangle or a hexagon?

That's it! I'm gonna take chewing gum into a new direction. I will make it my mission to make all gum a flat circle. A simple flat circle about the size of a silver dollar. The shape may change, but the flavor remains. Oh, that's an awesome tagline for the ad campaign.

Come on, that's a slice of fried golden idea I got there, right? Hey, patent pending.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Money In Heaven --*
A 10 dollar bill, a 5 dollar bill, and a 100 dollar bill all die and go to heaven.

God sees the 1 dollar bill and says he's been good, so he let him in.

He also let the 5 dollar bill in for being good.

When the 100 dollar bill went up to him, God said, "Hmm, well I never see YOU in church."


*-- My Wife Thinks She's A Chicken! --*

A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"

"Two years," says the man.

"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did the three little pigs leave home?

A: Their father was an awful boar.


Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married?

A: Newlywebs.

***
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