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THE DAILY GROANER - April 20, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


I love lists. Lists are truly the best. Lists would be listed on a list of the best things ever listed. Okay, here's a list of things that just popped into my head.

The Ten Weirdest Movie Titles of Ever and Ever!

1. Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla
2. They Saved Hitler's Brain
3. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
4. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
5. Dirty Dingus Magee
6. Disco Beaver from Outer Space
7. The Men Who Stare at Goats
8. Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine
9. The Thing with Two Heads
10. Monkey Trouble

Not bad, eh? I should make a list of all of the lists I've put in this newsletter. No, maybe a list of the things I was going to do but then didn't. Now, that's a list!

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Doctor's Four Letter Word --*

A man is recovering from minor surgery when his nurse comes in to check on him.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

"I'm okay," he says, "but I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used during the surgery."

"What word did he say?" the nurse asked.

"Oops."


*-- Guess What I Heard? --*

"Guess what I heard today?" a man says to his wife.

"What, hon?" she asks.

"The mailman has seduced every woman on our block but one."

"Huh," his wife says, "I bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis next-door."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why couldn't the pirate get to Davy Jones' Locker?

A: He didn't know Davy Jones' combination...


Q: What do you get when you cross a lobster with a baseball player?

A: A pinch hitter.

***

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