THE DAILY GROANER - June 17, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

I've noticed something interesting with son #2. Sean does this interesting thing when I'm feeding him his bottle. Whenever he's finished with his bottle or I think he's finished with his bottle he gives me the same look; it's a look that says, "You're kidding me, right?"

This kid eats like the formula is gonna leave town if he doesn't and he gets crazy eyes and starts doing newborn kung fu if you take it away. It wouldn't bother me, but he's really strong. It's not fear, it's more of a concern that I'm feeling.

Maybe Sean is just a very hungry baby. I guess I could just feed him more formula or get him a steak to gnaw on. Whatever works.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- You'd Never Believe It, But... --*
You'd never believe it, but I bumped into a famous stuntman in a motorcycle shop the other day. He was complaining because he couldn't decide whether to buy a bike with a high top speed but poor acceleration, or one with lots of torque and a fast acceleration but a poor top speed.

Eventually he decided on the second one because it cost a lot less. After all, torque is cheap.


*-- You Remember My Ex-Wife! --*
Ted came home from a long business trip and fell into the sofa without saying a word to his wife. She came over to see what was bothering him, and he said, "Well, I ran into Mary - you remember my ex-wife? - and she dumped a bottle of ketchup all over me."

"Well," said his wife, "I'll just let you rest, then. I can see you're ex-sauced, Ted."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you call it when a king goes to the bathroom?

A: A royal flush.


Q: Why did the dog cross the road?

A: To get to the barking lot.

***
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