THE DAILY GROANER - April 20, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

We are a little more than a month away from the due date and finally, Stacy and I have finished trolling through the massive baby names book and, believe it or not, we found a handle for our boy that we really like, both first and middle.

From out-of-touch celebrities to the students that Stacy teaches, it seems that parents give their kids the weirdest names nowadays. Names like Brock Lee, Chris P., Harry Peter, Jay Walker, Justin Hale, Pepe Ronny, Owen Cash, even Sawyer Dickey. It's almost like parents forget that these kids have to live with these staggeringly odd, yet hilarious, monikers.

But, lucky for us, we aren't self-involved weirdos and we have nothing but the best in mind when it comes to our little... AHHH! I almost slipped there and revealed our secretly selected designation. We're keeping that nugget of information a secret until after the little guy is born. That's driving both of our parents absolutely nuts! It's great!

They already know that it's a boy. The only thing we are holding back is little Burt's name. Ah, shit!

Hey, I just threw that out there to throw our folks off of the scent. Everybody will know the name in due time. Just be patient.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- I Wanted To Be A Doctor --*
When I was young in the 1960s, I decided I wanted to be a doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to medical school.

One of the questions asked us was to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important body part that helps to keep us erect. Those who answered "spine" are doctors today. The rest of us are sending stupid jokes by email.

(Submission from Earl)


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

A: Ouch!


Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?

A: You're pointless!


*-- Reader Comments --*
It's nice to see someone shares my loathing of soccer. Most popular sport in the world, hah! 45 minutes of running around like maniacs and the game ends up tied 0-0 -jpavko
[They should make it more exciting by putting ten soccer balls out at a time and bunch of ticked off billy goats. Give the people action! I'd watch that... for a minute.]

If a nun quits the church, does it mean she kicked the habit??? -Alienjake
[That's nunya business!]

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