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THE DAILY GROANER - September 7, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,

I was racking my brain trying to come up with a column for today's issue when my wife help me out.

She asked me if I had writer's block and I told her I had it in a big way. That's when she said without hesitation, irony, or humor that I should write about making my own sausage. Yes, you read that right.

Now, keep in mind that I have never said, thought, or acted in any what that would allow another human to consider the possibility that I would in the future acquire the knowledge and then use that knowledge to engage in the activity of making my very own sausages.

What my lovely wife said to me was straight up crazy talk. But I know that she's not crazy. So what would possess her to think and say such a thing? I hope possession has nothing to do with it.

Well, thanks for the column, honey. You're always there for me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see if there's a gas leak in the house.

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Random Thoughts for AlienJake --*

Got one for ya.... If a Nun quits the Church, does that mean she has kicked the Habit???

*-- Confucius Say... --*

Confucius say: "He who neglects to pay his electric bill shall be de-lighted."

Confucius say: "He who works in a darkroom must maintain a negative attitude."

Confucius say: "Woman who gets breast implants is making mountains out of molehills."

Confucius say: "He who breaks wind in church shall sit in his own pew."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

A: Stuck!

Q: What did the horny frog say?


(Joke courtesy of DRUMNCHIEF)


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