Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Bizarre News hates breastfeeding. Well, not really, but apparently this is the best way to get a bunch of women to come to our office and pull their boobs out.

It worked for Facebook, anyway.

It all started when Facebook suspended the account of midwife Emma Kwasnica over photos tagged of her breastfeeding her children.

Facebook labeled the photos as obscene.

In response Emma created a Facebook group called 'Hey Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene' calling moms worldwide to support the cause.

"This is discrimination," Kwasnica told the Houston Chronicle. "There's no other way to look at it. We're being treated as pornographers. Breast-feeding moms, especially ones with infants, spend hours a day with their children at their breast. They're not trying to be sexually explicit. This is just part of their everyday lives."

Toward this end mothers held a rally outside Facebook offices in Austin, staging 'nurse-ins' to protest the website's practice of labeling photos of breastfeeding as obscene.

And Bizarre News supports their right to demonstrate, but let me say right here that Bizarre News will NEVER post any pictures of large, silky soft, life-giving mammaries... while breastfeeding. So come on, mothers, do your worst. Prove to us that your breasts are beautiful!

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Even More Bizarre February Holidays --*
February 21 is Card Reading Day
February 22 is Be Humble Day
February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day
February 25 is Pistol Patent Day (Samuel Colt)
February 26 is National Pistachio Day
February 27 is International Polar Bear Day
February 28 is Public Sleeping Day
February 29 is National Surf and Turf Day


*-- Robber had shorts on his head --*
STOCK ISLAND, Fla. - Police in Florida said a man accused of attempted bank robbery wore a pair of shorts on his head during the crime, but they didn't cover his face. The Monroe County Sheriff's Office said Eli Escalera, 43, was wearing the shorts like a hat Friday when he walked into the First State Bank on Stock Island near Key West at 12:30 p.m. and handed a note to a teller reading, "Give me what are 20s and 50s," KeysNet.com reported Monday. The confused teller asked Escalera what he wanted and he responded by saying "nevermind" and leaving the bank, investigators said. The bank manager called authorities and Deputy Matt Dowling spotted Escalera on a nearby street. The suspect attempted to flee on a bicycle, but was quickly apprehended, authorities said. The sheriff's office said investigators do not know why Escalera was wearing shorts on his head.


*-- Neighbors' garage door openers all quit --*
ST. CHARLES, Mo. - Neighbors on a Missouri cull-de-sac said they are baffled as to why all of their garage door openers stopped working at the same time. The residents of the five homes on Westhampton View Court in St. Charles said their garage door openers stopped operating Dec. 26 and 27 and they have been unable to identify any new causes of interference in the area to explain the issue, The St. Louis (Mo.) Post-Dispatch reported Monday. "You'd see one of the neighbors pull up to the garage and get out of the car," Gilbert Ballman said. "Pretty soon we were asking each other, 'Are you having trouble with your garage door too?'" The neighbors said a technician from The Chamberlain Group, which makes Liftmaster openers, is scheduled to investigate the problem this week. All but one of the residents said they use Liftmaster devices. The residents said they have all filed complaints with the Federal Communications Commission, but it is unknown how long the agency will take to investigate.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis arguing with environmentalists is like playing whack a mole. They come up with crazy claims. You prove them wrong. They make more crazy claims. Go to any environmentalist religion web site. Try to find two articles that are conflicting. It should take about 30 seconds.
[I tell everybody that they are an environmentalist. When they argue with me I give them a simple criterion to judge by. Would they rather, I ask, live next to a forest preserve or coal-fired (or sometimes I say nuclear) power plant? Forest preserve? Environmentalist.]

Lewis, You know, when you raise the issue of what it would cost to farm elephants, a thought occurs to me: Isn't that what zoos already do? The only differences between a zoo and an elephant farm would be no other animals, and the elephants wouldn't be an attraction for the public. Although, come to think of it, if people express a willingness to come look at just them, then maybe elephant farmers could exhibit them as a sideline. -Evil
[I think alligator farms do that very thing.]

Lewis - Our problems with our kids got really bad when so many women went to work outside the home. Simply put, we got things backwards. What Mom did at home was the REALLY important thing, raising the children, seeing that there was order instead of chaos. Getting a job is sort of secondary to that. So - We got our priorities backwards and now we are paying the price. -Victor

People who think "it takes a village to raise a child" are not denying that the parents have that responsibility - they are pointing out that others also have an influence (teachers, scout leaders, neighbors, etc.)
[I think the point is that parents give away TOO MUCH of their responsibility.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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