Bizarre News - July 5, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

You can blame it on Sir Mix-a-Lot if you want to, but plastic surgery is an obsession with many women who want bigger, better, lips, breasts and, in the case of this unfortunate victim, butts.

Apryl Brown says an acquaintance was offering silicone butt injections at her house, at a cheaper price than a doctor's office. However, the real cost would come later.

"I was in pain, my butt was hard, and I was itching," Brown said.

It turned out to be a life-threatening staph infection. When doctors removed the silicone, they found it was bathroom caulk, the same stuff you can buy at Home Depot.

And it wouldn't be the first time a woman regretted taking caulk in her butt.

Brown needed 27 surgeries, and she lost her hands and feet to the infection. At one point, she thought she was going to die.

Apryl Brown has learned to walk and write using prosthetics. She says her goal is to educate others so they don't make the same mistake as she did.

"All I would ask them to do is, when they have that first thought, make sure they have a second thought about it and do a little research," Brown said. "They won't be blind-sided, and they won't be saying 'oh my God I had no idea that a simple procedure like that can leave me with no hands, no feet and no butt cheeks.'"

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Burglary suspect found hiding in box of stuffed animals in Tacoma --*
TACOMA, Wash. (UPI) - What's wrong with a grown man liking stuffed animals? Maybe nothing -- provided they are his. Washington police officers found a man crammed into a giant box of stuffed animals when they responded to a burglary alarm at a Tacoma thrift store. According to Pierce County Superior Court documents, officers responded to the St. Vincent De Paul thrift store and found Michael Howell hiding inside a box of stuffed animals in the yard outside the store. The 29-year-old reportedly told officers that he had smoked meth and then jumped in the box after he got spooked by the burglar alarm. "I came here for clothes and food, bro," Howell told police, KOMO reported. Howell was charged with burglary and unlawful possession of a controlled substance.


*-- 'Unmarked police car' bumper sticker leads to lawsuit against Indianapolis police --*
INDIANAPOLIS (UPI) - An Indiana woman's $2.50 joke bumper sticker could prove costly for a couple of Indianapolis police officers. Pamela Konchinsky was headed to work when she was pulled over by some Indianapolis Metro Police Department officers. They were apparently concerned with the "unmarked police car" bumper sticker that was taped to the back window of her minivan and asked her to remove it. The 56-year-old complied with the request, but after speaking with some co-workers, decided to contact the American Civil Liberties Union. Kelly Eskew, an attorney with the ACLU of Indiana, described what allegedly happened with Konchinsky and the officers. "The officer asked her, 'Is this your vehicle?' and asked for her license and registration," Eskew told IndyStar.com. "And then he said, 'With that bumper sticker, someone could think you're impersonating a police officer.'" Konchinsky was late to work after the stop. "It's a joke -- it's ironic," Eskew said. "It's like you or I wearing a T-shirt that says, 'Undercover cop.'" The city doesn't find the situation funny at all. "We take every lawsuit against the city extremely seriously," said Indianapolis corporation counsel Samantha DeWester. The civil lawsuit claims that the two officers violated Konchinsky's First Amendment right to freedom of speech and it is seeking unspecified damages to make up for lost wages and legal costs. "Ms. Konchinsky has not put the bumper sticker back on her minivan but wishes to do so," according to the suit.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis: Whenever I give a cash gift at a wedding I always include a Million Dollar Bill as a gag gift. This allows the gift recipients to have something to put on display instead of the real cash, check or gift card. And if some creepazoid decides to steal it, so what? They've only taken play money! -R.S.
[I have never known anybody to 'display' money they had received from their wedding...but I'm thinking we don't know they same kinds of people.]

About the man heading to jail and hiding money. I rectum he used his prison wallet to hold his cash.

We were a couple of blocks away at a birthday party at the K of C hall when that Wedding Thief went down. Funny as hell! We were smart enough to hire an off-duty Sheriff's Deputy to protect our swag. That cruiser outside with 25 assorted antennae on it is a pretty good deterrent.
[You had to hire security for your wedding? What the hell is going on down there in Missouri that people are knocking over weddings?]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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