Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Now here's something that I thought was a brilliant idea as soon as I read it. A British artist built a giant toy plane he could actually ride in, powered by an immense rubber band.

When artist Mark Clews was a boy, he dreamed of becoming a pilot and spent hours chucking toy planes across his room. When he hit 24, he decided to live the dream in his own unique way. Clews spent six months building the plane to the same specifications as the balsa wood kits he loved as a child.

The aircraft had a wingspan of 20 feet, was 15 feet long and made of a tougher wood than balsa. But when he finally got it onto an airfield it didn't perform as well as hoped.

Clews said, "We got it out of the van and fixed all the bits together using screws, bolts and ratchets. Then I got into the cockpit and one of my friends started to wind up the 100 foot elastic band on the propeller, which was connected under the fuselage to the back of the plane.

"The plan was that when the propeller was let go, it would spin really fast like a real airplane and allow us to taxi and take off.

"But it didn't really get going and the farthest we went was five meters. The plane never got airborne. In fact at one point it went backwards."

Not that that matters. This is still one of the neatest ideas I've ever heard. I wonder how difficult it was to wind a 100 foot-long rubber band?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- More Bizarre August Holidays --*
August 11 is Presidential Joke Day
August 12 is Middle Child's Day
August 13 is Blame Someone Else Day
August 14 is National Creamsicle Day
August 15 is National Relaxation Day & National Failures Day
August 16 is Bratwurst Festival
August 17 is National Thriftshop Day
August 18 is Bad Poetry Day
August 19 is Potato Day
August 20 is National Radio Day

(Even More 'Bizarre August Holidays' Next Issue)

*-- Family finds intruder in shower --*
HISINGEN, Sweden - Police in Sweden said a family awoke to the sound of someone taking a long shower and discovered an uninvited guest. Stefan Gustafsson, a police spokesman, said the Hisingen family did not initially think anything was awry when they heard the shower running Sunday morning, but soon discovered it had been running for hours and all family members were accounted for, The Local reported Monday. Gustafsson said the family discovered a man in the shower stall who was fully clothed except for his shoes. He told the family he "needed to wake up," the spokesman said. Officers escorted the man out of the house. Police said he was unable to explain how he got in, and the family decided not to press charges. Gustafsson said the man "was mostly likely under the influence of something. But he wasn't threatening or unpleasant in any way, almost the opposite."

*-- Man drives with nearly $5K on top of car --*
ALBUQUERQUE - An Albuquerque man said he was in a hurry to leave his home and drove off with a bank-bag filled with nearly $5,000 on the roof of his car. The man, who asked to be identified only as Jason, said he left home with the gray bank-bag on top of his car Friday and it was gone by the time he reached the bank, KRQE-TV, Albuquerque, reported Monday. "Bonehead move of the year. I was loading my children in the car and I put the money on the roof and drove off with it," Jason said. "Part of it was for mortgage, but the rest we're kind of doing a remodel on the house." Jason said he retraced his route but was unable to find any sign of the bag. "Maybe the right person will find it and know that times are tough and that someone needs this," he said.

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*-- READER COMMENTS --*
the chinese boy with 15 fingers and 16 toes was named Sum Ting Wong. -Brian
[That's racist. Funny, but racist.]

Hey, Lewis, about six months ago, I was in a bus terminal with a young lady about 18-20 years of age sitting across from me. Her purse started buzzing and everyone seemed to think it was her cell phone. Without a moment's hesitation, she reached into her purse, pulled a "you wish" sized vibrator, switched it off, and put it back inside her purse. She didn't seem the least embarrassed by the incident. -Chris
[That's young-people for you. They are so much more technologically savvy than people of my generation.]

Lewis...I have a feeling that if the kangaroo that attacked the elderly lady in Australia had done so in California, the cops would have tased it instead of using pepper spray! -BB
[Mmmm...tased kangaroo meat.]

A major problem with the police is they won't take anyone over a certain IQ. There once was a copy of the tests online. Score too high, and you can't be a cop. Any wonder things are as they are, with idiot sprotecting and serving us? The excuse: Smart people get bored and quit too much. [I have heard this before and I am inclined to believe that it is a rumor, but I don't know. Does anybody have any concrete evidence that this kind of selection criteria exists?]

I live in St Pete and the pics of those Bulgarian women who were secretly recorded were on the front page of the TBT. They are not hard to look at.....Lou St Pete
[That certainly doesn't make it right. But I agree!]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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