Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I read two very interesting stories this morning. One was about a man who grew up and lived in a small community in the San Bernardino Mountains of California. One afternoon the man, Allen Kephart, was driving along a mountain road near his home when he allegedly blew a stop sign.

A sheriff's deputy attempted to stop Kephart who ignored the deputy for an entire half mile. We don't know why Kephart didn't stop immediately, perhaps because he was on a winding mountain road, but in less than a mile he pulled safely into a gas station on the side of the road.

It was at that point that the deputy yanked him out of his vehicle and threw him to the ground where his face hit the pavement. Kephart attempted to rise, perhaps because he was dazed, or perhaps to turn onto his back, but the deputy, seeing no other alternative, tasered him.

In short order another deputy arrived and they continued to subdue Kephart with their tasers five times, at least. When the deputies discovered he was unresponsive they took him to the hospital where he died.

He had no police record.

In another story, in New York City, a drunk broke into the Ed Sullivan Theater, where Dave Letterman records his shows. After smashing the glass door the man began trashing the lobby, urinating on the floor, smashing mirrors and knocking over plants and trash cans, before breaking into one of the offices and continuing his mission of vandalism. When police arrived they found him still belligerent and destroying anything he could get his hands on. They took an hour coaxing him out of the theater before arresting him.

Now, who deserved which kind of treatment?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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+-- Canadian uses forklift to remove squad car --+
ST. ANDREWS, Prince Edward Island - A Canadian man was charged with assault after he allegedly shoved a sheriff's car off his property with a forklift, police said. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police said Wilfred Doyle, 45, of St. Andrews was charged with mischief and obstructing a police officer, as well as assault with a deadly weapon, after the run-in at his home last week. The Mounties told the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. the law enforcement officer went to Doyle's place on Prince Edward Island to serve him a court order. Doyle turned the routine process into a confrontation when he fired up his tractor, which was equipped with a forklift, and pushed the car out of his yard. Doyle was released after spending a night in jail.

+-- Frying pan ends Florida couple's argument --+
NORTH NAPLES, Fla. - Florida officials say a domestic beef over razors in the shower ended with a woman's arrest for allegedly hitting her boyfriend on the head with a frying pan. Mary Batson, 22, of North Naples, was arrested for battery after she allegedly conked her live-in boyfriend in the head during a noisy row that began over his refusal to let her borrow a razor. The Naples Daily News said Sunday that Batson denied striking the victim, although she admitted she slammed the pan down on the counter during the argument. Arrest reports said the dispute Thursday escalated quickly from argument to slapstick. The victim claimed Batson scratched him on the chest and face before going for the cookware.

+-- READER COMMENTS --+
Lewis...I've heard of Grand Theft, Auto, but never Grand Theft, Spooge! How that gal in Ohio can plead not guilty after being caught white, er I mean, RED handed with the stolen bull semen is beyond me. I guess she is just giving a whole new meaning of needing "seed money" to start her new business! -BB

Lewis...Bull cum??? Really? -Shelley
[Of course. That's how you get a bull to follow you. You yell, "Bull! Come!"]

"one woman returned a puppy she had named 'Miller' after the beer she had been drinking." Freaky, that's why I named my cat 'bull cum'!? -sly
[You must have been to that festival in New Zealand I featured in Bizarre News a couple months ago...where they were offering shots of "Zizz". Read the issue below.]

Horse "Shots" Give You Zizz

While I understand Andrew's sentiment that prison inmates should be deprived of all "creature comforts" I must ask if Andrew has ever seen TV documentaries about prison life. Prisoners in their cells deprived of anything to relieve the monotony of prison life retaliate by throwing feces at guards as well as other violent acts. On the other hand prisons where such "creature comforts" actually leads to better behaved inmates who may better rehabilitate themselves as well as a safer environment for the prison staff. Therefore I totally support allowing such privelages for inmates that improve their morale if only to make the jobs of the prison guards easier and safer. --Dan
[Idle hands are the Devil's workshop. I guess it depends on if your goal is punishment or rehabilitation.]

+-- END OF READER COMMENTS --+
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