Bizarre News - June 17, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

If you read last week's issue of Bizarre News you know that doing loud laundry will get you kidnapped (at least in Florida). Apparently they're fine with loud laundry in Tennessee, but they take a dim view of overly loud sex. But you better be careful of who you complain to or you might end up like the poor bastard in today's story.

A couple was arrested on charges of assault after they allegedly stabbed their neighbor because he complained about them having loud sex, police in Tennessee said.

Hawkins County Police said that they have arrested 33-year-old Johnny Allen Richards and 32-year-old Erin Brooke Lawson, after they were accused of stabbing their next-door neighbor.

The neighbor called the police to report loud noises coming from a nearby apartment. Police came and determined that the couple were making loud noises during sex.

When the neighbor called the police for the second time, the couple went to his door and forced their way into the apartment (because the couple that breaks and enters together stays together).

Richards and Lawson went on to stab the man. Richards was charged with aggravated assault.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Canadian cabbie gives duck family a free ride to the river --*
CALGARY, Alberta (UPI) - A Calgary cab driver waived the $17 fare for a mother duck and her ducklings after he gave them a lift from a busy street to the nearest river. Checker Cab driver Urga Adunga said he was driving Thursday on a busy street when he came across a mother duck and her nine ducklings trapped in traffic. "I didn't want to pass them because there is no way for them to escape from the road. It's blocked all the way," Adunga told CBC News. Adunga said he put on his hazard lights and used his cab to block other vehicles from getting too close to the ducks while he and other witnesses worked to round them up. "The other people, they are very nice people, and they stopped and they helped me get the nine ducklings," he said. "One of the people who helped me was a mother, and she had a backpack for the baby and she tried to put them in there, but we couldn't do it. So I told them to put them for me in the car." The cabbie drove the duck family to the Bow River and waived the $17 fare. Checker Yellow Cabs shared a Facebook photo Adunga snapped of the ducks in his back seat. "As a human it is our responsibility to protect those animals, and nature and the environment," he said. "I could do it again, too. Not only the animals, humans, too. We have to rescue each other, we have to help each other."


*-- Woman lost on mobility scooter gets 6 mph police escort --*
LYDEN, Wash. (UPI) - The Washington State Patrol said a woman who became lost while riding her mobility scooter was escorted home by a trooper at 6 mph. The patrol said Trooper Dave Hintz responded June 9 to a report of an elderly woman riding her scooter in circles on a stretch of Highway 546 in Lyden and he asked the woman to move to the side of the road. Hintz said the woman told him she had been riding in circles because she was lost about 4 miles from home. "I just treated her the way I would've wanted somebody to treat my mom," Hintz told KOMO-TV. Hintz drove behind the woman at 6 mph to escort her home. He said the journey took more than an hour. Amused witnesses posted photos and videos of the escort on social media. "Our motto with the state patrol is service with humility," Hintz said. "It took a lot of patience and humility to take care of this lady."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis the guy in Tex. that got broken leg from horse, was he the pin or the cushion? John
[Why? Is one really better than the other?]

Let the punishment fit the crime. Have a horse fuck the horse raper and see how the raper feels about that. -fred
[You've got a sick sense of justice.]

Given the difference in size between the man's equipment and a male horse's equipment, would the female horse have even noticed what was happening, or did she kick the man out of disappointment?
[I don't know, but if that is really the way females react it might explain some of the cuffs and kicks I've gotten from my wife. All this time I thought she just liked it rough in bed.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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