Bizarre News - July 15, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

What does it mean? My God, what does it mean?

I am reminded of the video of the camper who was so stunned by the appearance of a double rainbow that all he could say was, "Whoa...oh, my God! What does it mean? What does it mean?"

But instead of a meteorological phenomenon I am stunned and mystified by the appearance of hundreds of dildos hanging from the power and phone lines around Portland, Oregon.

The large white and bright orange dildos appear to have been strung together in pairs, and flung across line above a number of major commercial streets.

Portlanders have been speculating about their origins. Maybe the gay mafia finally making its presence known?

"You could spot them in several intersections and you could see all sorts of reactions to them," said one Portland resident. "Some would blush, others would laugh, and most would take photos."

A spokesman for public utility Portland General Electric said he did not believe the rubber products posed a fire hazard.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Medieval justice: Sword thief tackled by wench, held by knight --*
LARKSPUR, Colo. (UPI) - A man who allegedly tried to swipe a jouster's sword at the Colorado Renaissance Festival was tackled by two women and held for police by a knight in shining armor. Witnesses said the man jumped into the jousting pen during a demonstration Saturday at the event in Larkspur and ran off with a sword. Steven Chapman, who snapped photos of the incident and posted them to Facebook, said he saw the man being pursued by two women. "A man held a sword and appeared to be playing keep-away with two women. When one of the females shouted for security I realized the moment was serious," Chapman wrote on his blog, TumbleweedTourist.com. "Before onlookers could intervene, one woman ripped the stolen sword from the man and another woman (dressed as a wench) tackled him to the ground, quickly applying a headlock. I photographed the incident from the time of the take-down to when the suspect was led away by authorities." The woman who tackled the man was soon relieved by a knight in shining armor -- the woman's husband. The suspect, identified as Connor Ward, 22, was charged with attempted assault on a police officer, resisting arrest and theft. Police said Ward was drunk and is a friend of the performers who tackled and held him.


*-- Florida woman doesn't realize she'd been shot until four days later --*
DELAND, Fla. (UPI) - A DeLand, Fla., woman said she thought she had been hit by an errant firecracker while dining with her friends on July 4th, but days later she visited a doctor who found a bullet embedded in her leg. Heather Charlebois was just sitting down at a cafe late Saturday night when she felt a sting on her leg. She and her boyfriend cleaned up her wound in the restaurant's bathroom, but not seeing any blood, they figured she must have been burnt by a firecracker. "My first thought was somebody hit me, slapped me open handed really hard on my leg and pinched me, but it did not make any sense because I didn't see anyone," Charlebois told The Daytona Beach News-Journal. Four days later, when the pain still hadn't gone away, she visited a doctor, who ordered an X-ray and found a .38-caliber bullet embedded about 4 centimeters into her thigh, she told WESH-TV in Orlando, Fla. DeLand police are now trying to figure out who shot the bullet. "Well, it's safe to say that at the moment we don't know where it came from," said DeLand police Sgt. Chris Estes. "There is no indication a gun was fired in close proximity to where she was sitting at this point so, another theory is that it was fired into the air from a distance." In the meantime, doctors say the bullet is too close to a major artery in Charlebois' leg, so they're leaving it where it is. "I feel very fortunate," Charlebois said. "I have four kids and we have been through a lot."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
What we need is a law against stupid. If found guilty you must spent the balance of your life hand cuffed to one of your parents. -Les
[That would be inconvenient when they died.]

Kissing chickens partly to blame for Salmonella outbreak: A Salmonella outbreak has infected 181 people in 40 states as of July 1, and was caused, in part, by people cuddling and kissing chickens and bringing live poultry in their homes, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Fifteen people were reported ill in Ohio. Ohio had the second-highest infection rate of all states but Alabama, where there were 17 people ill.
[I have heard of putting lipstick on a pig, but where exactly are you supposed to kiss a chicken? Slapping a chicken, okay, but kissing a chicken???]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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