Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I guess the moral of this story would be; be careful of what kinds of women you meet on the Internet. I realize that the Internet has desensitized us to a lot of what used to be considered bizarre, but when your date starts stabbing you during foreplay, you should be thinking to yourself that you made a bad call.

Maybe I should start this story from the beginning.

Last week an 18-year-old Arizona man traveled to Milwaukee, Wisconsin by bus to meet a woman he met online. Two days later a police investigation began Sunday night after cops responded to a report of a possible stabbing. Officers found the Arizona man bleeding from the neck, arms and back.

He told cops that after arriving at the home of a woman he met online, he was bound and was stabbed numerous times over a timeframe of what he described as two days.

A blood trail led police to a third floor apartment where they spotted a large amount of blood on the floor and on bedding in a bedroom. They also saw duct tape, which was fashioned in a manner that appeared to be a restraint.

While at the apartment building, police were approached by Rebecca Chandler, 22, who stated, "I think you are here looking for me." Chandler told cops that she had engaged in sexual relations with the Arizona man "and that the cutting was consensual but that it got quickly out of hand."

As it turned out young Rebecca and her roommate--whom she identified only as "Scarlett"--are Satanists.

You can almost picture it in your head. The young guy shows up to find two women instead of one. Suddenly they say they want to tie him up and he starts thinking he has scored a very kinky jackpot. But over 300 cuts and stabs later he was probably reconsidering.

In a post on his Facebook wall after he was released from the hospital the man offered a one-word update: "stitches."

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Man runs out of toilet paper, trashes room --*
CHARLOTTE, N.C. - A man caused more than $2,000 in damage to a Charlotte, N.C., hotel after discovering he had run out of toilet paper in his room, police say. Police say between late Sunday and early Monday at the Charlottetown Manor, Dereck MacDonald, 43, became very upset upon discovering he ran out of toilet paper, The Charlotte Observer reported. MacDonald allegedly walked into a vacant room at the hotel and clogged the toilet, causing water damage to the room, a police report states. "The suspect then went back to his room and damaged additional property by physical force," the report says. MacDonald reportedly caused more than $2,000 in damage in the two rooms combined. Police arrested the man and charged him with injury to personal property.

*-- Russia getting soldiers badminton supplies --*
MOSCOW - Officials with the Russian Defense Ministry said all military units are being provided with badminton equipment to help them sharpen their skills. Alexander Schepelev, head of physical training for the ministry, said about 10,000 rackets and tens of thousands of shuttlecocks are being purchased for the units to help soldiers with their eye muscles, cardiovascular strength and reaction speed, RIA Novosti reported Monday. "Badminton is very useful for every soldier without exception. But it will be particularly useful for shooters and snipers," Schepelev said. However, Alexander Khramchikhin, deputy director of Russia's Institute of Political and Military Analysis, said playing the sport would likely only benefit soldiers by providing a way to relieve stress. The move comes after President Dmitry Medvedev posted a clip to his official blog of a badminton game he played with Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. Medvedev said in the clip, which was aimed at children, the sport "develops your physical form, eye coordination, accuracy and reactions."

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
susan, if you find those types of vids offensive, then don't watch them! i have been choosing not to watch them for years!! it is so easy! DON'T CLICK ON THE LINK!! D'UH! hey lewis love your ezine!! been a fan since before you were editor and you are better! keep up the GREAT work!!--rita

Lewis, my favorite cocktail was a separator: brandy, kahlua and cream. What a sticky mess with the tampon. Can't wait to try! -Patty
[I'll expect a detailed report.]

As many others will undoubtedly inform you, vodka soaked tampons were a plot device in a CSI program a few years back. Katey Sagal used them to hide her alcohol intake.
[And people say kids don't learn anything from television.]

Hey, Lewis, What happens when a tampon gets soaked? It expands... a lot. How are they put into the vagina? -Sharon
[A penis expands a lot (some more than others) and that fits inside a vagina.]

I take it youâ??re not old enough to remember, but coffee and alcohol enemas were both big fads in the 70â??s. It got to the point where guys were saying, "I just did a half gallon of rum in 2 minutes!" Then drop dead of alcohol poisoning 10 minutes later. The fad quickly went away after that. -Mark
[No. I have always preferred my coffee in the traditional orifice.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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