Bizarre News - May 2, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Do you remember the scene in the movie Animal House when Boon stuffs Larry 'Pinto' Kroger's pants full of meat at the Food King? Today's story is basically that, except a lot more stupid.

A man and woman have been arrested in central Florida after police say they stole more than $300 worth of meat from a grocery store.

Deputies reported that 48-year-old Doris Rowe and 54-year-old Kenneth Edwards drove 26 miles to a Winn-Dixie store in DeLand where a store manager saw Rowe stuffing meat products and other items into her pants.

Deputies say the manager stopped Rowe and she hit the manager in the neck, dropping pork ribs, two packs of detergent and three water filters. Rowe fled the store and got into Edwards' truck. Deputies apprehended them at a traffic stop. Both were charged with grand theft and robbery.

Deputies found ribeye steaks, ground beef, bacon, pork ribs and a gallon of bleach in the car valued at $361.

No 15-year-old cashiers or middle-aged Deans' wives were molested during or after the incident.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- British man banned from using vending machines for five years --*
BURY, England (UPI) - A British man caught stealing coins from a parking meter was banned from using vending machines or any other coin-operated devices until 2020. Russell Stansfield, 38, of Derker, England, was caught stealing from a parking meter in Bury earlier this year and he admitted in court to committing multiple similar petty thefts on a variety of coin-operated machines. Bury Magistrate's Court ruled this week to slap Stansfield with a Criminal Behavioral Order banning him from using coin-operated machines, including parking meters and vending machines, until February 2020. The only exceptions to the order allow Stansfield to use a pay phone to call emergency services and use a Metrolink machine to purchase a ticket, but he must immediately move away from the machine once his ticket has been issued. The order also banned Stansfield from any airports or airport parking lots unless he can prove he is traveling. He was also banned from Trafford Center and its parking lot. "It's just weird if I'm honest, there are so many things I can't do," Stansfield told reporters after the order was issued. "If I'm at the hospital for hours for example I can't buy any food from the machines." Stansfield, who apologized for his crimes and said he committed them during a "tough time," joked the order could occasionally come in handy. "At least I have an excuse not to pay for things," he said. "I think I might be the only person in the country with this bizarre restriction, maybe even the world."


*-- Colorado preschooler barred from eating Oreos at lunch --*
AURORA, Colo. (UPI) - A Colorado mother said her daughter's preschool teacher barred her from eating the Oreo cookies packed in her lunch because they are not "nutritious." Leeza Pearson, whose 4-year-old daughter, Natalee, attends private school The Children's Academy in Aurora as an Aurora Public Schools student under the state's preschool option plan, said Natalee returned home from school Friday and told her she was not allowed to eat her Oreo cookies at lunch. Pearson said Natalee still had the cookies, which had been packed along with a ham and cheese sandwich and a stick of string cheese, along with a note from her teacher.
The note read: "Dear Parents, It is very important that all students have a nutritious lunch. This is a public school setting and all children are required to have a fruit, a vegetable, and a healthy snack from home, along with milk. If they have potatoes, the child will also need bread to go along with it. Lunchables, chips, fruit snacks, and peanut butter are not considered to be a healthy snack. This is a very important part of our program and we need everyone's participation." "I don't agree with it at all," Pearson told KMGH-TV. "They don't provide lunch for my daughter. I provide lunch," Pearson said. "It's between me and the doctor in terms of what's healthy for her." An Aurora Public Schools spokeswoman said Natalee was offered a healthy alternative to the cookies. The director of The Children's Academy said the note should not have been sent out and is being investigated. She said the school does not have any policies regarding telling students what they can or can't eat at lunch time.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, I somehow get the picture in my mind that since this was not the woman's first offense that maybe she knew the person that was robbing the store and kept that extra sum of money in the register at those times because she was getting a percentage of the take. Just a thought! -Gary

Lewis, If Austin chose the snake over his girlfriend, it doesn't say much for her. -Joe L.
[Maybe it was a 'Bush' Master? Or one of those rare swallowing cobras?]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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