Saturday, February 2, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Beachcombing is a relaxing and sometimes rewarding pastime for many. Sometimes you will see them wandering over the sand, frequently with a metal detector, looking for odds and ends, lost coins, jewelry or other valuables. If they are lucky they will make a few bucks with what they find.

One British beachcomber found more than he expected, and he didn't use a metal detector to find it - it was his dog.

Ken Wilman told British broadcasters that he had been walking along Morecambe beach in northern England when his dog, Madge, discovered a hard, soccer ball-sized piece of smelly rock.

"She wouldn't leave it alone. I picked it up and it smelt horrible. I put it back on the beach, but something in the back of my mind told me it might be something unusual."

One Google search later and Wilman realized that Madge had found ambergris, a waxy byproduct of sperm whale digestion that has traditionally been used in perfumes, spices, and medicines - and can fetch large sums of money. He said he immediately drove back to the beach to find the ambergris. He said he has been offered $68,000 for the musky material.

That's right, $68,000 for whale vomit.

Callum Roberts, a professor of marine conservation at the University of York, said the find appeared legitimate.

"It's a waxy, yellow-gray piece of flotsam. I'm sure that 95 percent of people would walk past it without further thought," he said.

Wilman had a slightly different take on his find, "If your dog pays an interest in something, YOU pay an interest in something," he said. "Because you never know. There's gold out there on that beach - floating gold."

The same cannot be said for dead birds.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Man charged in avocado assault --*
NEW YORK - The New York Police Department said a man was arrested for allegedly throwing an avocado that hit a grocery store worker in the face. Police said Joe Testa, 45, brought the avocados to the Stop & Shop supermarket in Brooklyn's Sheepshead Bay neighborhood around 3 p.m. Tuesday and argued with a 24-year-old woman who works at the store, the New York Daily News reported Thursday. Testa allegedly threw one of the fruits at the woman, striking her in the face. She was treated for bruising and released from Lutheran Medical Center. Testa was charged with misdemeanor assault. Police did not say why he brought the avocados to the store.


*-- Court orders boy, 12, to get a job --*
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. - A Massachusetts appeals court upheld a judge's order for a 12-year-old tagger to get a job so he can pay $1,000 restitution to his victim. The boy, who was 11 at the time of the crime, had been ordered to pay restitution to his Easthampton neighbors in exchange for having charges of juvenile delinquency put on hold for one year, and Juvenile Court Judge James Collins extended the probation for four years and ordered the youth -- identified under the pseudonym "Avram" in court papers -- to get a job when he failed to pay the damages within the allotted year, the Boston Globe reported Thursday. Attorney Craig Bartolomei filed an appeal on behalf of the boy, but the ruling was upheld Wednesday by the Massachusetts Appeals Court. "The state itself limits what they [12-year-olds] can do," Bartolomei said. "They can be actors, with a permit. They can work a farm, and they can basically deliver newspapers. But kids don't deliver newspapers anymore." However, the court offered some employment suggestions for Avram. The boy can "earn money by obtaining a paper route, mowing lawns, raking leaves, shoveling snow, baby-sitting, delivering groceries or by recycling items upon which a deposit had been paid," Judge William Meade wrote in the three-judge panel's decision.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Was that Brazilian woman's vag properly licensed and registered? -Corky
[No. Not only that, but it was probably "high-capacity" too.]

Lewis, Tsk-Tsk.... poisoned poonaner in Brazil. what's next.... women shooting 45 caliber bullets from their boobs??? -BB
[Not all women can boast .45s! There is nothing wrong with nice, perky .22s.]

I bet you're going to be really happy when your readers finally stop talking about GUNS aren't you? -Patty
[Not when the comments are finally starting to get fun!]

Hi Lewis! In a long reach, the "Fact" guy could be right? If all the hammers that push the firing pins were taken out of guns the bullets would not fire. I bet the biggest killer is really the bullets, all a gun is without them is a club. You can thank me reading your comments for thinking like this. -Rocky
[You mean critically and analytically? Your welcome.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*

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