Bizarre News - August 23, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I just read a story about how a convenience store owner in New York (or was it New Jersey?) had to personally chase down a shoplifter who has robbed his store several times because the police refuse to respond to so-called petty crimes.

That is not likely to happen at "Shooters Grill" in Rifle, Colorado, where all nine of the servers at the restaurant pack heat as they shuttle plates of food to diners, from Glock semi-automatics to Ashlee Saenz's thigh-length Rueger Blackhawk .357 six-shooter. On the wall, posted alongside copies of the Declaration of Independence and Bill of Rights, is a sign declaring that those inside are still "proudly clinging to my guns and Bible."

Owner Lauren Boebert, 27, says she didn't start out to make a statement when she began carrying a pistol on her hip a month after opening Shooters a year ago. But through the months, her other waitresses thought it was kind of fun and they, too, started carrying in this town of 9,200 about 180 miles west of Denver.

"We don't worship guns. We worship Jesus," said Boebert, a mother of four whose husband works in the oil industry. "We're here to serve people."

Menu items include the M16 burrito, the Swiss and Wesson grilled cheese, and "Locked and Loaded nachos."

"I'm from Texas," said one diner. "This is normal."

And that's just how Boebert sees it. Rifle is hunting country with outfitters offering to help visitors track down and shoot elk and deer roaming the nearby high-country forests and canyons. Legend says the area got its name when a surveyor left his gun leaning against a tree and marked his map with "rifle" to remind himself where it was.

In May, the Denver-based Chipotle burrito chain asked gun owners to stop bringing guns into the company's stores following a series of demonstrations from strident Second Amendment supporters in Texas. And last year, Starbucks also asked gun owners to leave their weapons behind when buying coffee.

However, in Rifle, Boebert said the local Starbucks franchisee has no problem when she walks in wearing her Springfield XDS .45.

A sign on the front door welcomes armed patrons and asks them to abide by the same rules but adds, "in such cases, judicious marksmanship appreciated."

"There's no point to be made," Boebert said as her waitresses refilled ketchup bottles and wiped down menus, readying for the dinner rush. "This is our way of life."

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- South Carolina mean beat by woman for farting in her face --*
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. (UPI) - A South Carolina woman was arrested Monday for allegedly beating a man in his 60s, after the man drunkenly passed gas in her face. Witnesses told police that 33-year-old Jessica Cerney was asleep on her couch in her Myrtle Beach residence when 64-year-old Darrell McNight entered the home and farted in her face. "[McKnight] came into the house intoxicated and 'passed gas' is [Cerney's] face while she was laying on the couch," according to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun. In the initial report, the names of both parties were omitted. "[Cerney] walked outside to get away from [an] intoxicated [McKnight] but [McKnight] walked out also. The two were arguing over the incident and [McKnight] walked toward [Cerney] cursing in a "threatening manner." [Cerney] stated that she pulled her arms down and when McKnight bent down she struck him in the face approximately three times with a closed fist." McKnight had to be taken to the hospital for treatment to a swollen right eye while Cerney, unless she develops a case of delayed pinkeye, did not suffer any injuries. Both parties were issued citations for fighting. It is unclear if they knew each other prior to the incident.


*-- Pageant mom fed daughter tapeworms so she would lose weight --*
LOS ANGELES (UPI) - A pageant mom in Florida is the subject of an upcoming episode of Untold Stories of the E.R. after forcing her daughter to ingest tapeworms in order to slim down for competition. Upon checking into the emergency room with severe stomach pains, nurse Maricar Cabral-Osorio thought the teen was pregnant. But an ultrasound showed no fetus -- although there was an inexplicable growth in her intestines. Recounted and reenacted for Discovery Fit & Health's anything-but-subtle medical scare docudrama, the unfortunate teenage contestant's condition became clear upon a fateful trip to the bathroom. "It was a toilet bowl full of tapeworms," Cabral-Osorio recalled. "It was so gross and she had pooped all these tapeworms. There were a couple that were very long and wiggling around trying to get out of the toilet bowl." Having passed the parasites, the teen was then assumed to be fine. But one question remained -- how did she get the tapeworms in the first place? After an apparent fight between the mother and daughter, it became clear the mother bought a pill of tapeworm eggs in Mexico and forced her daughter to take it to lose weight for an upcoming pagent. "We were wondering how did she get those tapeworms, and then you saw the mom turn white," Cabral-Osorio said. "The mom was apologizing to the girl. It's like 'I'm so sorry. You know, I did it just to make you a little skinnier. You needed some help before we went on to the pageant." It is unclear when the incident occurred or if criminal charges were brought against the mother.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
It doesn't surprise me that an American male (I can't call him a man) faked his death in order to avoid getting married. I've known many married American males who are virtual zombies at home, devoting their time to mindless pastimes while the rest of the family functioned without them. American wives are often referred to as golf widows or football widows. Did you ever hear of an American husband being called a cooking widower, a taking care of the children widower or any other kind of widower because of his wife being interested in something other than him? I never have. Women can be interested in things and still take care of their responsibilities at home. Why can't men? -Jody

Hi Lewis.. In regard to the man/child that faked his death to avoid getting married, he needs to grow a set. Oh I forgot, that sentiment has been changed to grow a vagina. Those things can really take a pounding! -Patty

LEWIS; Although this bit of information never made it to the news media, an M.D. who knew people in the Cook County Coroner's office told me that in 1980s when police investigated serial killer John Wayne Gacy they knew before even 1 body was found that there'd be 33 victims. How did they know this? The police found 33 frozen penises in Gacy's refrigerator freezer. Gee, was that creepazoid planning a weenie roast? -R.S.

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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