Bizarre News - April 22, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

You have heard that laughter is the best medicine, we've all seen Patch Adams, but we shouldn't be too quick to discount the healing power of a few hard punches to the face.

That was the therapy prescribed by British facial surgeon Ninian Peckitt when he punched a patient in the face up to ten times "like a boxer" during treatment.

Sure, it sounds a little unorthodox, but not only was the patient under anesthetic, but Professor Peckitt had another dental surgeon who was assisting hold the patient down, so there was very little risk involved...at least for Peckitt.

Professor Peckitt was attempting to reduce a fracture when he unexpectedly curled his hand into a fist and began unloading on the patient's face. The assisting surgeon reported that there were "gasps" from others in the operating theatre and she was left in a state of shock.

It was unreported whether Peckitt screamed, "Yeah! Come get some!" during the medical assault.

The assisting surgeon told a Medical Practitioners Tribunal, "He said that when the patient fell out of bed, the cheekbone which was already fractured was moved outwards so he was trying to reposition the cheekbone without having to make further cuts to the face."

Sound very compassionate.

The tribunal members said: "The panel has determined that Mr. Peckitt's misconduct is fundamentally incompatible with his continuing to practice medicine. The panel has determined to direct that Mr. Peckitt's name be erased from the medical register."

In other words, "Peckitt who? Nobody here by that name. Check the register!"

Not that it matters to him much. Professor Peckitt left the hospital and is now believed to be working as a consultant surgeon in Dubai where maybe that kind of medical procedure is a little more accepted.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Earthworms rain down on Norway, scientists puzzled --*
BERGEN, Norway (UPI) - Cats and dogs have nothing on this one. Thousands of earthworms rained down on parts of Norway, leaving scientist baffled by the appearance of the slimy invertebrates on snow-covered grounds. Biology teacher Karstein Erstad made the discovery as he was skiing in the mountains outside the coastal city of Bergen. At first he thought they crawled atop the snow from the ground beneath, but then realized the snow was too deep. "When I found them on the snow they seemed to be dead, but when I put them in my hand I found that they were alive," he said. "In many places, the snow thickness was between half a meter and a meter (1 1/2 feet to 3 feet) and I think they would have problems crawling through the cold snow." Erstad took a sample to Trond Haraldsen, an environmental expert at the Bioforsk research institute in Norway. "This is a phenomenon we know from the literature, but it is the first time in my time as a scientist that I have got the message that it has happened on the snow, "Haralsen told the Bergens Tidende. Since the incident, reports have come in from other areas of the country as far away as the Swedish border. Experts suggest the worms may have been lifted into the air by a weather system and blown miles from their original location.


*-- Woman eats 13.5 pounds of steak -- plus sides -- in under 20 minutes --*
AMARILLO, Texas (UPI) - A California woman broke her own world record by eating three steak dinners -- 13.5 pounds of steak plus sides -- in less than 20 minutes at a Texas event. Competitive eater Molly Schuyler, a 124-pound mother of four, downed three 72-ounce steak dinners, which each came with a baked potato, a shrimp cocktail and a side salad, to take the top spot Sunday at the The Big Texan Steak Ranch's Big Texas Steak Challenge in Amarillo. Schuyler downed two of the meals in less than 15 minutes last year, so the restaurant gathered four teams of two people to face off against Schuyler, who ate solo. Schuyler came in first, with a finish of less than 20 minutes. "They would have had to eat their half in like four minutes," Schuyler told the Amarillo Globe-News of her competitors. "If you're not used to doing this, four minutes is hard." The eatery said Schuyler set a world record last year when she finished her first steak dinner in 4 minutes, 58 seconds, and she broke her own record Sunday by finishing off her first meal in 4 minutes, 18 seconds. "I come in thinking I'm going to fail, but you know if I win it's a lovely parting gift and that's cool. I also get free steak so I don't really lose," she told KFDA-TV. Organizers of the competition said Schuyler's feat will be submitted to Guinness World Records.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, I had to have a smoke after reading your last issue of Bizarre. If you keep this up I'm going to have to start reading your newsletter with a box of tissues handy.

That story about the 35 year old mother who was putting out for her 16 year old daughter's boyfriend at a party sounds fishy to me. I'll bet the letter was written by some guy with a wild imagination! -Ralph

Lewis, when did Bizarre News become a porn newsletter? I know GopherCentral has (or used to have) a newsletter about sex and sex tips, so it should be there instead. I'm not a prude or anything, I just think sex stories have their place and I don't think BN is that place. -Christi
[I guess nobody bothered to take my advice at the end of last issue's column to actually look the story up.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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