Bizarre News - October 8, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

If your erection lasts more than four hours you should seek the attention of a doctor. If your erection lasts more than 17 hours you are in for some real unpleasantness.

Brit Jason Garnett woke up one morning with the unwelcomed turgidity, but like most men who wake up in this condition he thought it would soon go away by itself. It didn't.

As the hours passed he tried various things including exercise and an ice bath before he finally agreed to be taken to the hospital.

"Ending up in hospital with a permanent erection was probably the most embarrassing day of my life," Garnett said, but the embarrassment was going to be the least of his worries.

Doctors first tried to slow Garnett's blood flow by injecting his penis 24 times.

"Seeing them stab my penis with a needle was a horrible experience - like something out of a horror film."

But that didn't work so they had to come up with another way of making the 23-year-old's penis go down. In a last desperate attempt doctors removed two pints of blood from his penis.

This final procedure worked.

"The pain was 10 out of 10," Garnett commented. Adding that after its ordeal, his penis is "a bit black and blue."

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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* Firefighters rescue 3-year-old from mailbox *
BRUNN AM GEBIRGE, Austria (UPI) - Firefighters in Austria said they freed a 3-year-old boy who became locked in a large postal box during a game of hide-and-seek. The Modling Fire Department said the boy was visiting a residential complex in Brunn am Gebirge with his parents Monday and he chose the mailbox as a hiding spot for a game of hide-and-seek. Emergency responders needed to be summoned about 7 p.m., however, when the box's door locked behind the boy, trapping him inside. Firefighters, who used a hydraulic spreader and a crowbar to get into the box, said the boy was "amazingly brave" and greeted them with a smile once they got the box open.


*-- 100 pairs of Chinese military pants rip simultaneously --*
WUHAN, China (UPI) - A Chinese military reserve training session was interrupted when the reservists were told to sit down and more than 100 pairs of pants ripped simultaneously. Chinese media reports indicate about 4,500 reservists were participating in the training session Sept. 8 at a university in Hubei province and the group was instructed to sit in unison, leading more than 100 reservists to tear their pants in unison. The tearing was accompanied by an audible ripping sound, witnesses said. The pants, standard issue camouflage for the Chinese military, cost about $15 each, considered a high price for pants in China. The incident has been raising questions in Chinese media about the country's military's combat-readiness if their pants are prone to failure.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
3 boobed striper girls stripper name? how about triplet?
[I can always rely on the ingenuity and originality of my readers.]

3 Breasted Woman Stripper Names: how about Neopolitina? -Kevin
[That would work better if each boob was a different color.]

Hello Lewis, happy Halloween! I was just wondering.. deer blood, potato in twat, eating hairballs.. can we expect more of these hair raising stories as we approach Halloween? -Patty
[Not sure where the deer blood fits in with the hair theme, but sure, why not?]

Hey Lewis! The story about the woman who was using a potato as birth control reminded me of two things. I once read a story about an elderly woman who lived in the south, and she went to the doctor because a plant was coming out of her "virginny". She had inserted a potato to treat a prolapsed uterus, a condition in which the uterus starts to fall out. The potato had sprouted.
[Did she have Obamacare?]

Black pudding, also known as blood sausage, is a pudding made of curdled and boiled pig blood, mixed with chunks of pork fat (for texture and juiciness) and spices, then stuffed into a sausage casing.
[I like my definition better, but that does sound filling.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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