Bizarre News - December 9, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

This man should have said, 'Yes' to Jesus and no to taking off all his clothes and getting in a car with three women after drinking 12 beers, but this is Florida where laws are treated more like suggestions than anything else.

The Florida Highway Patrol says 33-year-old Noe Dejesus was going 110 miles an hour and driving drunk with three female passengers.

Troopers in Collier County say, at 3 in the afternoon Saturday, they started getting calls about a man driving recklessly. When a trooper stopped the car, FHP says the trooper noticed the driver was shirtless and there was an open 12-pack of Corona.

The trooper asked Dejesus to get out and saw he was completely naked and allegedly smelled of alcohol and slurred his speech.

Dejesus, is now facing charges of DUI and driving without a license. He was released after posting $6,000 bond. Arrest records show he has a history of drug, gun, and theft arrests, as well as knowing how to have one hell of a time.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Police: Drunk driver in New Jersey was searching for New Jersey --*
JERSEY CITY, N.J. - Police said a woman searching for New Jersey didn't realize she was already in the state because of her other state -- intoxication. Port Authority police said an officer approached Karol Andino, 31, after she stopped her 2000 Volkswagen Beetle near the entrance to the Holland Tunnel in Jersey City around 2:30 a.m. Saturday and got out of the vehicle. The department said Andino repeatedly told the officer she was "looking for New Jersey," despite being assured that she was already in the Garden State. The officer determined Andino's eyes were red and watery and the suspect admitted she "had a few drinks" before driving. A Breathalyzer test indicated Andino's blood alcohol content was .25 -- more than three times the .08 legal limit for driving. Andino was charged with driving while intoxicated and careless driving.


*-- Police: Man caught snorting cocaine during traffic stop --*
SEATTLE - Seattle police said a 73-year-old arrested for snorting cocaine during a traffic stop was nearly released due to his clean driving record. The Seattle Police Department said in a blog post Officer Nic Abts-Olsen pulled a vehicle over for driving without headlights after dark about 8:30 p.m. Tuesday in the Coleman neighborhood. The traffic stop was recorded by the officer's dashboard camera and the department posted the footage to YouTube. Abts-Olsen checked the license and registration given to him by the 73-year-old motorist and was planning to release the man due to his spotless driving record, but when he returned to the Toyota he saw the man scooping cocaine out of a small glass vial. The officer knocked on the motorist's window, apparently startling the elderly man and causing him to spill the white powder onto his hands and the floor of the vehicle. "Are you kidding?" the police blog post quotes Abts-Olsen as saying to the driver. The driver initially claimed he had only "vitamins" in the car, but eventually admitted the substance was cocaine. The suspect "complimented Officer Abts-Olsen on his keen detection skills and admitted that snorting cocaine in the middle of a traffic stop was, perhaps, a poor decision," the blog post reads. "Please abstain from using cocaine, especially during a traffic stop," police said in the YouTube video.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
This appeared in the Sarasota Herald Tribune newspaper. On November 29, attorney and national DUI expert Tim Hudson was arrested for DUI in Sarasota, FL. He blew a .12 in a breathalizer test. -Jim Kitchell
[What do you expect from an expert, a .02? To tell you the truth, a .12 seems a little amateurish to me.]

LEWIS; Here's a better idea than telling women to replace their breast implants every 8 to 15 years. Hey ladies! Just be satisfied with the tits you were given by nature and heredity. "Big tits" is never worth risking your health. -R.S.
[You mean like the millions of men who take injections and pills filled with mysterious chemicals to make their johnsons bigger?]

Lewis, with the high cost of implants, replacing them every 8 to 15 years could become prohibitive. Couldn't they develop a DIY setup by putting in zippers? -Bill

I think that if I had fauna like that around me, I would want to stay sober most of the time.
[Yeah, because mortal fear makes people think and act rationally.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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