Bizarre News - November 12, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

In 1957 the Russians shot a dog named Laika into space, and ever since then rocket scientists and rednecks with engineering degrees have been trying to send more and more bizarre objects into the upper stratosphere.

Next month a group of Michigan rocket enthusiasts is preparing to continue this grand tradition with a modified porta-potty.

The group, dubbed "The Throne Thrusters," plans to launch the portable restroom thousands of feet into the air near Three Oaks. The group is mainly composed of members of Michigan Rocketry, a local high-power rocketry club that frequently launches rockets, according to Larry Kingman of The Throne Thrusters. The project has been in the works for about two-and-a-half years.

The group came up with the idea at a meeting, after one member pondered the possibility of launching a porta-potty with the right engine power, Kingman said.

"Dave McVeigh, the owner of a local retail hobby store, pointed towards the old decrepit porta-potty bathroom sitting nearby in the field and said, 'I'll provide the rocket motors if anyone wants to make a rocket out of that.' In the bat of an eye, everyone present had their hand up in the air saying, 'Count me in!'" the group's press release reads.

A company donated a decommissioned porta-potty to the group for the experiment. Members of The Throne Thrusters have equipped it with cameras, parachutes, seven motors and measuring equipment.

The group is aiming to increase awareness of rocketry as a hobby, as well as prove that it's possible to turn a porta-potty into a rocket and launch it successfully.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Ohio group 'clowning around for Christ' --*
BOARDMAN, Ohio (UPI) - An Ohio group called Clowns for Christ is working to spread the Christian message with help of puppets and balloon animals. Judy Zyvith said she has been "clowning around for Christ" for about 17 years with three different churches, most recently with Clowns for Christ, a ministry of Boardman United Methodist Church. Zyvith, who serves as the group's coordinator, told the Youngstown Vindicator she was inspired to don her "Flowers" clown persona by a clown ministry from Westminster College in Pennsylvania that visited her church while she was in college. The clowns use puppets, balloon animals and other props to illustrate biblical stories and prayers. However, Zyvith said they perform without makeup when ministering to kids. "We've found many children are afraid or intimidated by the makeup," Zyvith said. The Rev. Pamela Buzalka said the clowns "add visual arts, which makes the story come alive for children."


*-- Restaurant served booze to kids ages 2-8 --*
COLORADO SPRINGS (UPI) - A Colorado family said several children ages 2-8 were mistakenly served the alcoholic versions of drinks at a Joe's Crab Shack location. The Montoya family said they went to the Colorado Springs restaurant with visiting relatives and six children, ages 2-8, ordered the alcohol-free "Shark Nibble" mixed drinks from the menu. Family members said a waitress came to their table about 30 minutes after the drinks were delivered to inform the family they had mistakenly received alcoholic "Shark Bite" drinks. One of the children, a 2-year-old girl, had already finished her drink, which contained Bacardi Limon rum, Skyy vodka, blue Curacao and grenadine. The family said the children were examined by Colorado Springs paramedics before being sent home. Joe's Crab Shack's corporate office released a statement in response to the incident. "Joe's Crab Shack is aware of this incident at the Colorado Springs Location, and we are investigating this matter internally. We do not condone underage service of any kind. Our guests can rest assured that our processes are continuously examined so that incidents like this are avoided." Colorado Springs Police said the incident is under investigation by the department's liquor team.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Dear Lewis, I see you've cut back on the number of stories you have in your column I wish it wasn't so but I know that there are such things as cutbacks that pop up everywhere, and though I will miss the extra story, I am happy for the ones you still have! Have a great day!
[We have the same number of stories we have had for years. Maybe you're just becoming impatient in your advanced age.]

Lewis; 100 holes in the Fiat with a pick ax, well, did the damn car learn it's lesson and start after that? Just what the hell does it take to make a Fiat mind and start when told to do so? Somewhere around the 4th or 5th hit with the ax should have told the guy that the pick ax wasn't making, the car start, ya think? -Wes
[Yeah, but it was probably satisfying if nothing else.]

Lewis, if you have booby-trapped your front lawn with anti-personnel mines if won't keep the first kid from cutting across your grass, but it sure as hell will, the second...
[Don't get so worked up. They're just flash-bangs; the same kind the police use on little old ladies and toddlers.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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