Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

In a case that would not have been a mystery to anyone who has seen the movie "Old School" a man in Texas apparently wanted to party with his friends so bad he staged his own kidnapping so his wife wouldn't give him a hard time about leaving the house.

According to police, Rogelio Andaverde, 34, of Edinburg, in the Texas-Mexico border region, was with his wife at home when two masked men barged into their house carrying guns. They forced him from his home and his hysterical wife called police in a panic.

Dozens of law enforcement officers fanned out to search for Andaverde. A police helicopter was even sent out to look for him. But the investigation was going nowhere, and police officers started to become suspicious.

Andaverde thought he had outsmarted everyone, police said. He casually returned home and said the kidnappers showed mercy and had set him free. But he later confessed to investigators, police said, that it was all a ruse so he could go out for a night on the town with his drinking buddies.

Andaverde was charged with making a false report to police. He was released on $5,000 bail.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Woman pleads guilty to spaghetti sauce bank robbery --*
CLINTON TOWNSHIP, Mich. - A Michigan woman who passed off two cans of spaghetti sauce as an explosive device during a bank robbery pleaded guilty to the crime. Ophelia Neal, 53, pleaded guilty in Oakland County Circuit Court to bank robbery and explosive charges following the April 6 crime in Macomb County, The Detroit News reported Tuesday. Neal pleaded guilty in Oakland County because she had been wanted there for violating her parole. Police said Neal went into the Fifth Third Bank in Clinton Township April 6 and told a clerk she was carrying a bomb in her cloth bag. Neal fled with an undisclosed amount of cash in a car driven by a man. She was later arrested and police discovered her cloth bag contained two cans of spaghetti sauce. Neal, who has previous convictions for fraud, marijuana possession and assault, is scheduled to be sentenced Nov. 9 before Macomb County Circuit Court Judge Jennifer Faunce.


*-- Yale Police seek laundry 'poopetrator' --*
NEW HAVEN, Conn. - Yale University police are investigating a series of laundry-tampering incidents carried out by a suspect dubbed "the poopetrator" at the Connecticut school. Students using the school's Saybrook College laundry room reported their clothes were soiled with urine, food waste and feces in a series of September incidents and Saybrook Master Paul Hudak said Yale Police have opened an official investigation, the Yale Daily News reported Monday. "We have asked our students not to leave their laundry unattended, the affected machines have been thoroughly disinfected, and we are actively seeking information about who the perpetrator might be," Hudak said. "That's about all we can do." The culprit or culprits were dubbed "the poopetrator" by students after Lucy Fleming's clothes were soiled by what appeared to be human excrement while in the laundry room's dryer Sept. 7. Incidents involving urine and food waste were reported the previous day. A further incident was reported Sept. 26. "The fact that this could happen at Yale is shocking to me," Fleming said. "Think about what this means for our community."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Hey Lewis! Switzerland may have a low crime rate despite its citizens being required to do military service. But having said that, just how much havoc can you wreak with that Swiss Army Knife? I've never heard of a single person being mini-scissored to death. - Andrew
[You've never heard of a person being scissored to death? You've never watched World Wrestling Federation, have you?]

I'm not familiar with the '2010 SCOTUS' ruling about carrying guns, but here in the wild west (New Mexico) you may carry a pistol in a belt holster (not concealed) anywhere except in places that post signs restricting such (usually bars, taverns and 'gentlemen's clubs'), even in the State Capitol Building. -Ron
[Do they have special crews to wash the blood off the streets and sweep up the empty shell casings every morning?]

I Hope that "weeping" painter is not using some of the pigments like cadmium red and yellow. they're poisonous. Safe in paint, but not touching mucus membranes. -Elena
[I saw a video of a guy who paints with his penis, but yeah, I guess the inside of your eye sockets might be a little more sensitive.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
Missed an Issue? Visit the Bizarre News Archives

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: LEWIS