Bizarre News - December 20, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

The bizarre News story of the week, of course, is the cancellation of the release of some stupid Seth Rogen and James Franco movie called 'The Interview' after an anonymous group of hackers (North Korea) broke into Sony Pictures and started threatening terrorist attacks against cinemas that played it.

Personally, I think this sets and interesting precedent. You know, I have never liked Angelina Jolie. I think she is overrated in every way. Plus, she's annoying and obnoxious. She has a new movie she has directed called 'Unbroken' coming out which is probably going to be just a big waste of time and money, but with the power of all Bizarre News subscribers behind a simple campaign...but...maybe this is not the best idea to discuss it.

A much less widely read, but more amusing story comes from Canada where a young man went to the Internet to find a travel partner for a trip he is planning.

That isn't all that bizarre, but the fact that he was looking for a travel partner named Elizabeth Gallagher is.

You see, last year 27-year-old Toronto resident Jordan Axani had planned a once-in-a-lifetime, round-the-world trip with his then girlfriend Elizabeth Gallagher. As sometimes happens with boyfriends and girlfriends, they broke up.

So there he was, with thousands of dollars in tickets and reservations for a woman named Elizabeth Gallagher, but no Elizabeth Gallagher. So he went to the Internet.

And incredibly, he found her! A 23-year-old student named Elizabeth Quinn Gallagher agreed and is set to jet off with Axani around the world. However, the trip will be strictly platonic since she already has a boyfriend. But something tells me that when she is in Greece getting plastered on Jordan's dime...somebody is getting laid.

Cause the cancellation of a $50 million movie, pull a woman named Elizabeth Gallagher out of thin air for a round-the-world sex-fest...Is there nothing the Internet can't do?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Pot shop removes smoking Santa window painting --*
LOS ANGELES (UPI) - A Los Angeles medical marijuana dispensary removed a pot-smoking Santa painting from its window following complaints from members of the public. The Harbor House of Dank in San Pedro hired an artist last week to create window paintings including Santa Claus smoking a blunt and a snowman holding a prescription bottle. Pictures of the paintings were posted on Facebook, where they drew hundreds of complaints. Posts on the closed "Coastal San Pedro Neighborhood Watch" Facebook group criticized the paintings for being prominently displayed in an area frequented by children. The paintings were removed from the windows Tuesday. The store manager said he had the artist scrape them off the windows when he learned about the complaints from the public. The furor over the pot-smoking St. Nick may have caused further troubles for the Harbor House, as Los Angeles Councilman Joe Buscaino's office said the business is operating illegally. Los Angeles voters passed proposition D in May, which only allows for 135 dispensaries in business prior to a 2007 moratorium to remain in business, Buscaino's office said. The Harbor House of Dank has only been open for a few weeks. The dispensary is one of hundreds being investigated by the City Attorney's Office and the police department, officials said.


* Police Tase chocolate-crazed monkey in France *
MARSEILLE, France (UPI) - Authorities said an aggressive monkey Tased after weeks on the loose had been subsisting on a diet of Kinder chocolates. Marseille police said the monkey had been the subject of more than a dozen calls to authorities from the Castellanne area in recent weeks, including one occasion when it "caused bedlam" at an elementary school and "scratched some children," but the primate always managed to flee before officers arrived. Police said they finally caught up to the monkey Monday and captured it using a Taser. Investigators said the monkey was apparently abandoned after being kept illegally. They said the animal had been subsisting on a diet of Kinder chocolates given to it by children. Malnutrition and suspected abuse from some children may have contributed to the monkey's aggressive behavior, police said. An investigation has been opened to identify the animal's owner and charges of illegal possession of a wild animal are possible, police said. The monkey, which was not seriously injured, was turned over to animal protection authorities and will join a zoo's exhibit following a quarantine period.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, if you are going to set a church on fire and then claim to be Jesus, you might as well do it naked. That's what you call the holy trinity of crazy.
[Jesus DID say he would destroy the temple and then raise it again in three days, didn't he! Of course, the Bible does not specify whether or not he was naked when he said that.]

So a Polish Rubik's cube master beat his own record by solving a puzzle in 21.17 seconds while blindfolded. I find that hard to believe. Not that he solved it, that it took so long to accomplish. Everyone knows that Polish Rubik's Cubes have the same color on every side. --Jeff

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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