Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Greetings fellow Bizarros:Natural selection is the theory popularized by Charles Darwin which says that traits or characteristics which tend to help a species survive tend to get passed down. That is why the giraffes who were able to eat the tender leaves at the tops of trees survived more often than their shorter-necked cousins and over the millennia developed into the stunning animal we know today.
We assume the theory also works for intelligence.
Take the story of 36-year-old Georgia man William Bonner. It was originally reported that Bonner got into a fight with several other patrons at a bar in Augusta, and then had his face burned in retaliation.
However, a surveillance video from inside the bar has revealed that Bonner had purposefully had his drinking buddies douse his head with a shot of Bacardi 151 and put a match to it.
It is assumed the stunt resulted from a bar bet. In the black-and-white footage the visibly inebriated Bonner is seen getting ready to win his bet.
It takes his challengers two attempts to light his head, and when it happens, Bonner can be seen running around the bar like a human torch and trying to put out the flames.
The bar manager that evening commented, "They call him Ghost Rider in here from the movie, and it's exactly what it looked like"
Bonner was taken to the local medical center with severe burns to his face and head.
Police said there will be no charges filed in this case as Bonner has already suffered enough as a result of his ill-conceived bet.
Bizarrely,
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MyBizarreNews*-- Man leaves party, gets chased by bear --*FLYKALEN, Sweden - Police in Sweden said a man who wandered away from a party became lost in the woods and came face to face with a bear. Officers said Robin Engstrom, 20, was attending a party Saturday in Flykalen and decided to take a walk in the woods with some beer and cigarettes, The Local.se reported Monday. Engstrom became lost in the woods about four miles from the village and soon found himself chased by a brown bear, police said. The man climbed a hunting tower and pounded on the roof to scare the animal away. Police said Engstrom was rescued after spending about three hours atop the tower. Engstrom said he tried to stay calm during his ordeal. "I drank up the last of the beer and then I sat and smoked. One shouldn't get unnecessarily stressed," Engstrom said.
*-- 'Goat man' was hunter in disguise --*SALT LAKE CITY - A Utah wildlife official said the mysterious "goat man" photographed crawling near some goats was a California hunter testing out a goat stalking disguise. Phil Douglass, conservation outreach manager for the Division of Wildlife Resources, said he was contacted recently by a 57-year-old California man who revealed he had donned a goat suit July 15 and appeared in Coty Creighton's photograph near Ben Lomond Peak just north of Ogden, the Ogden Standard-Examiner reported Tuesday. Douglass said the man, who did not give his name, gave information substantiating his claims and said he was testing out the goat suit for an upcoming hunting trip. "He gave me details that convinced me it was him," Douglass said. "I'm satisfied that this was a person preparing for a hunt and did it with knowledge and experience." Creighton said he had enjoyed the mystery about the goat man's identity. "I thought I wanted answers, but I was naive. I should have left well enough alone. Now I just want the mystery back," he said.
*-- READER COMMENTS --*I feel sorry for Jonah Falcon (the man with a penis that is 13.5" erect). Most men, gay or straight, may want to see it and/or touch it; but even gay men, unless they have no gag reflex, would all say the same thing as most women: "You're not putting that thing into me." You can ask TZ. He's the expert on large penises. -Jim
[
He is, but not what it is like to have one.]
Hey Lewis--can you please tell me where I can view one of the documentaries about unusually large penises? I think it would be the beginning of a fine party! Thanks, Donna
[
I'm sure you can find plenty online for a very modest subscription fee. The 120 second previews are usually free.]
The lady with the brown spots on the lawn should take a nice long bubble bath. Then take a bucket and empty the bath water onto the lawn.
[
That sounds convenient.]
I knew a guy from the south whose tattoo read "THE REBLE". Jeff Foxworthy never said this but I will; If any word in your tattoo is misspelled, you may be a redneck!
[
Shows how much you know. That is actually a French word that is pronounced "Re-b'LAY". It means oblivious.]
Lewis; Yeah, I think Obama would deal with ET's by telling them that they can do whatever they want as long as they promise to vote for him and not delve into his past. -Wes
[
I don't know about ETs, but that is what he is doing with the aliens.]
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