Saturday, May 11, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

From the country that brought you kidnapping as a mainstream commercial industry and cocaine-smuggling nuns comes a bizarre and miraculous story of a man who accidentally shot his wife in the face with a spear gun. Accidentally being the important word here...because what man has ever wanted to shoot his wife in the face with a spear gun?

The story is miraculous because the 28-year-old woman actually survived!

The Rio de Janeiro State Health Department said in a statement that the woman's husband was cleaning his spear gun when it went off (who hasn't that happened to?), firing a harpoon that hit her cervical spine.

Elisangela Borborema Rosa was rushed to the hospital and underwent emergency surgery. The police statement quotes neurosurgeon Allan da Costa as saying that the harpoon came within 1 centimeter of killing the woman. He said he expects a full recovery.

A police officer said by telephone that officials are looking into the case.

"Everything indicates it was an accident, but we are investigating. We don't think the husband tried to kill her," said the officer. "But once she fully recovers we will be able to question her and get a clearer picture of what happened."

Let's hope nothing happens to her before then!

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


* Cemetery rejects profane gravestone inscription *
LYNN, Mass. - Commissioners of a Massachusetts cemetery said they rejected a proposed grave stone inscription due to the inclusion of profanity. The Pine Grove Cemetery commission in Lynn voted 6-0 to bar Sonny Santiago's family from inscribing his grave stone with lines of verse he wrote that include profanity, The Daily Item, Lynn, reported Thursday. Santiago died in a motor vehicle crash Feb. 23 at the age of 23. "You gonna remember the damn name, I give a [expletive] if I die with no damn friends, I got my fam by my side and that's until the end," the proposed inscription reads. The family said they have submitted an alternate poem by Santiago for the grave stone and commissioners did not raise any objections to the profanity-free verse.


* Spanish official criticizes luxury prison plans *
MADRID - The Spanish interior minister questioned plans for a luxurious prison with flat screen TVs in every cell and an indoor pool. Interior Minister Jorge Fernandez Diaz addressed the country's congress Wednesday and questioned the plans for the luxurious San Sebastian Penitentiary in the Basque region, The Local.es reported Thursday. "It's unreasonable," he said. "The project must implement services that help to re-educate and reinsert interns into society." The official said the project will soon be completed at a cost of $11 million. Joseba Agirretxea, a lawmaker from the Basque National Party, criticized plans to slash the planned prison's budget from $148 million to $91.7 million.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Dear Lewis, I can understand wanting a zamboni of you're own (imagine taking one down a snowmobile trail), but you must always be sober enough to find the right exit! -Patti

Hi Lewis, Hallucinogenics can be a great or terrifying experiencing, but this can be controlled through your mind set and environment. Back in the day, I'd make sure I was in a good mood and out in the woods or prairie before ingesting such things. I bet this guy watched a "bird documentary marathon" and forgot to eat before using his drug of choice. Why else would he jump out of a window? Then he probably got a little hungry and thought the woman's head was a cheeseburger. -Dan
[You have clearly put way too much thought into this.]

A couple years ago in Florida (I think Miami) some naked zombie man bit the face of a passer by on a bridge, I think they said he was on bathsalts (?) In movies zombies have on clothes, I guess movie makers have this detail wrong. â??Marie

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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Send comments and questions to: LEWIS