Saturday, December 8, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Say you are a teenager with an illegal pistol that you bought from someone at a party (of all places). Being a dumbass with no idea how to handle a firearm you take it home and try to clean it when it goes off.

What is the worst possible consequence you can imagine short of killing yourself?

If you immediately thought, 'Shoot my penis off' you have just described the circumstance a Florida 18-year-old named Michael found himself in earlier this week.

Police say Michael first lied to police saying someone shot him while he was walking down the street. After being questioned by police he admitted to accidentally doing it himself.

Doctors say the bullet went through his penis, his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh.

And if his luck wasn't bad enough, while police were investigating at the home where it happened, they discovered marijuana in the house. That led to the arrest of the homeowner on drug charges.

So we can only assume that poor Michael doesn't have a place to live anymore either.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Even More Bizarre December Holidays --*
December 21 is Look At The Bright Side Day, National Flashlight Day, National French Fried Shrimp Day, and Hamburger Day
December 22 is National Date-Nut Bread Day
December 23 is Roots Day
December 24 is National Egg Nog Day
December 25 is National Pumpkin Pie Day
December 26 is National Whiners Day
December 27 is National Fruitcake Day
December 28 is Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day
December 29 is Pepper Pot Day
December 30 is Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day
December 31 is Unlucky Day


*-- Pizza Hut Canada releases perfume --*
VANCOUVER, British Columbia - Pizza Hut Canada released 110 bottles of its pizza-scented perfume, "Eau de Pizza Hut," to fans on Facebook. The pizza chain jokingly held a contest to name a fake perfume scented like "the smell of a box of Pizza Hut pizza being opened," and the response led the chain to create 110 bottles of the fragrance and send it to Facebook fans, the Vancouver Sun reported Thursday. "For now, we've only produced 110 bottles of Eau de Pizza Hut, but who knows what the future has in store," said Beverley D'Cruz, marketing and product development director for Pizza Hut Canada. The perfume comes after the Burger King fast food chain released a meat-scented body spray in 2008.


*-- Stickers cover testicles in yearbook photo --*
LONDON, Ontario - A Canadian high school is using stickers to cover up a yearbook photo featuring a student exposing his testicles to the camera. The London District Catholic school board said Mother Teresa secondary school is using stickers bearing a Photoshopped version of the picture of the school's news team after the picture appearing in the book was found to feature a student with his testicles exposed, The London Free Press reported Thursday. "They're going to put in those permanent stickers right on top of the old picture so it won't wreck the page or the photo," district spokesman John Boles said. Boles said the company that published the yearbook will cover the costs of the stickers. The spokesman said stickers will also be made available to students who already received their yearbooks before the nudity was noticed last week.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, Did you see the news article about the Council woman from Detroit, Michigan? She was speaking up about the financial troubles the Motor City is in, and made the comment in city council, that Pres. Obama needs to give the Motor City a financial bailout. She said, we got him in office, now it is time for paybacks. -Wayne
[I did see that story and I found it kind of refreshing to see a politician speaking honestly. She got her constituents to elect Obama and now she wants to get paid. Why hide the reality or couch it in political euphemisms?]

Heya Lewis, Loved the story about Brittany and her dog. We had a similar thing here in Phoenix (where else?) where a couple and their friend looked for a dog through Craigslist. A man answered their ad and said he had a large German Sheppard. The man, of course, turned out to be a cop and promptly arrested them. -Mark
[I can't believe there are sting operations for that kind of thing.]

I'm pretty kinky, Lewis. I would have stayed with her as I did it once with mans best friend. -Jack
[Something you probably shouldn't admit too freely, Jack, especially to the editor of a bizarre ezine with 60,000 readers.]

Actually, Lewis, the XMan closest to her would not be a man but would be Rogue who only has to touch a person to suck the life out of them. It seems she did this to her husband when she told him the news!! -Patti
[She was sucking something else out of him for 19 years and I'm sure he never complained.]

I guess Brittany's boyfriend will just have to wait and see what kind of litter she has. Also, I didn't know man was in charge of enforcing the laws of nature. I wonder if we are responsible for the laws of physics, gravity etc. We better get the our lawmakers to work on this. Probably cost to much money though. -Lee

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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