Saturday, June 18, 2011Greetings fellow Bizarros:In Bizarre News I have reported on a story about a man who set his home on fire while trying to burn out a hornet's nest. Then there was the man who burned his house down while trying to destroy a squirrel nest. But this story is a new one to me.
Officials say a Florida man set fire to his home while trying to clean an infection on his foot.
How? The man told deputies he was sitting on his bed, using rubbing alcohol to clean his foot. Of course, the best way to calm the nerves that come with an infected foot is to have a smoke.
His lit cigarette came into contact with the flammable liquid and set his sheets on fire. He removed the bedding and ran to get a fire extinguisher, but the flames grew out of control while he was gone.
Investigators have accepted the man's story and ruled the fire accidental. I however have my doubts. I watched an episode of Myth Busters where they proved that he heat of a lit cigarette is not enough to ignite liquid gasoline, which is much more inflammable than alcohol.
So I conducted my own experiment, and no matter how hard I tried I could not get rubbing alcohol to ignite with a cigarette. So the obvious solution in my mind? Spontaneous human foot combustion.
Bizarrely,
LewisQuestions? Comments?
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+-- Sister cleared in thermostat fight --+PLAINFIELD, Ill. - A 62-year-old Illinois woman who fought with her sister over a 1-degree difference in the setting of their home's thermostat has been acquitted by a judge. Ilona Sales of Plainfield was cleared Monday by Will County Judge Brian Barrett, who said it was unclear whether Sales or her sister, Wanda Lupina, started the December fight, the Chicago Tribune reported Wednesday. "Both of them seemed ready to settle the issue in front of the thermostat," he said. "I hope this is the last blowup." Both sisters agreed the fight was sparked by their feud over the thermostat in their home -- Sales wanted the temperature to be 68, while Lupina preferred 67. Lupina claimed Sales shoved her away from the thermostat twice and punched her in the face, causing a black eye. However, Sales claims Lupina started the fight by pushing her away from the thermostat. Steven Haney, Sales' lawyer, said his client still lives with her sister and the women have come to an agreement about the thermostat.
+-- Class honors man for denture escape --+MEMPHIS - A 92-year-old Washington state man who used his false teeth to chew through the duct tape with which he was tied up received an award from a third grade class. The class at Berclair Elementary in Memphis picked Lester Matteson of Shoreline, Wash., to receive the 2011 hero medal after he used his dentures to chew through the duct tape thieves had used to tie him to a kitchen chair in December, KOMO-TV, Seattle, reported Thursday. "Oh, I think they're the heroes. They're the little heroes," Matteson said of the class. Matteson was suggested to the class by 8-year-old Haley Dunwoody. "I think he's a hero, 'cause he used fake teeth to chew through tape when he got robbed," the girl said.
+-- READER COMMENTS --+Lewis, you wrote, "I couldn't care less about the president's birth certificate unless it somehow contributes to solving the energy crisis." well, if we gathered all the fake obama birth certificates into a pile we'd have a new energy source.
Hi Lewis. I have found myself dozing off at a light and I don't drink. Probably a small case of Narcolepsy.
Hi Lewis, We have a communistic president and you say it's ok not to have a legal birth certificate as long as he does something about the gas prices. Sick! He cares not about this country and is trying AND succeeding at ruining it. The person, whom some call president should be IMPEACHED.
[The energy crisis is the most serious problem facing the United States and the developed world in the next decade or so. Almost every other issue is related to it. If Obama can create policy to address this crisis, I personally would not care if he were born in Timbuktu.]
Lewis, just wanted to say that I love the new format, and I am so glad Bizarre News is back to two days a week. I have been a loyal reader for years, even back when GopherCentral was called ShagMail, and I have both of the Best of Bizarre News books. I just love reading about the depths of human stupidity, and I'm glad you are there to tell us. Keep up the good work! -Chris
[Thanks Chris! It's nice to hear people are still buying and enjoying the books.]
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