Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Sometimes you have an itch you just have to scratch. And that is not always a euphemism. Unfortunately for this man, the itch he had was on his testicles. It was unfortunate not just because it is never good to have itchy testicles, but because when you are in your car and trying to scratch them it looks a lot like you are masturbating.

That is what prompted a woman in the same parking lot with this man to call the police.

The woman told Port St. Lucie, Florida police she saw a man in his vehicle "making an up and down motion in the area of his crotch."

The woman didn't see his genitals but believed the man was masturbating.

Now here is where things get bizarre. When police spoke to the man, he explained that he got the urge to scratch his testicles because he has a rash there. When they were disinclined to believe him he pulled up his shorts and popped the boys out, showing the officers the, uhh, affected area.

Police determined the man, who has no criminal history, did not expose himself and found no proof that he was performing lewd acts in public.

Considering that it is almost never a good idea to show the police your genitals, that must have been one blistered bat-wing.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily! It's the future of entertainment available today, all in one place.

Visit and Enjoy: EVTV1.com

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- World records set at Pakistan festival --*
LAHORE, Pakistan - Attendees at a Pakistani youth fair broke seven world records during the weekend. New global marks were set in most martial arts kicks in 3 minutes, plug wiring, fastest chess set up, cooking the most number of chapattis (bread), pulling a truck by a mustache and most football headers at the the Punjab Youth Festival in Lahore on Sunday, Geo News reported. On Saturday, attendees to the festival broke the record for most people singing a national anthem. Ahmad Amin Bodla broke the record for most kicks, while the record of chess setup was broken by Mehar Gul and Mohammad Mansha broke the chapatti making record. Noman Anjum set the world record in plug wiring and Mohammad Sadi set the world record of pulling a truck by a mustache. The record for football headers was set by Daniyal Gill and Qamar Zaman. A team from Guinness World Records was at the festival to verify the records.


*-- Bigfoot blamed for motor home vandalism --*
LYKENS, Pa. - A Pennsylvania man whose motor home was damaged by a rock-throwing vandal told police he believes Bigfoot is behind the crime. Pennsylvania State Police released a complaint Friday saying John Reed, 39, of Lykens, a member of the Lykens Valley Sasquatch Hunters, told troopers earlier this month he caught a glimpse of the late-night vandal and believes the perpetrator to be the legendary ape rumored to wander the wooded areas of North America, The (Harrisburg) Patriot-News reported Monday. "It wasn't a person. I didn't see any clothes or coat or anything like that," Reed said of the vandal responsible for smashing the windows and taillights of his 1973 Dodge Winnebago. "I don't think it was a bear. It didn't move like a bear." Dauphin County District Attorney Edward Marsico Jr. said his office would prosecute the Sasquatch if it is captured by authorities. "We have been searching for him for years," Marsico said with a laugh. "We would be glad to prosecute, assuming the elusive thing is captured."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, The Remington 870 is a 12-gauge manual-pump shotgun, not a rifle. A 'rifled' barrel is available for shooting 12-gauge slugs but the ammunition for said rifled barrel is a shotshell rather than a rifle cartridge. -George
[Obviously written by some new-age, left-wing hippie who has never operated a weapon more lethal than his own pecker.]

Lewis; Was there a typo in your story about the jewelry store owner giving vouchers for a Remington 870 "hunting rifle" when someone buys a diamond ring? The Remington 870 is a 12 guage pump shotgun not a hunting rifle. I know of no one who hunts deer with a shotgun. -Wes
[Right you are. Syntax would dictate that the Remington is a shotgun and not a rifle, but shotguns are frequently used to hunt deer.]

The story about the Florida couple reminds me of a story I read about Skinny Sisk (one of my fellow West Virginians) from the Band of Brothers. It seems the MPs caught him with a girl on the train tracks. When they asked why he didn't stop, he said "The train was coming, she was coming and so was I". -Dave
[Those West Virginians and their wit.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored Right Here... Only $1!

Missed an Issue? Visit the Bizarre News Archives

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: LEWIS