Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

So you just won the lottery. What is the first thing you do? Buy an island somewhere in Polynesia, staff it entirely with super models and hula girls and start wearing a white suit and hanging out with a midget.

Hang on! You only won $75,000 so let's scale it down a little bit. Okay, so you throw a party. A small gathering of friends and family that you have catered with food from a good local restaurant.

Or, if you're from Wichita, Kansas, with marijuana and meth.

And why not? You've just won the lottery, what's the worst that could happen? Well, you could blow your house up.

Authorities say two brothers accidentally blew up their house while celebrating in just such a way.

Wichita police Sgt. Bruce Watts says the explosion happened after one of the brothers went to the kitchen to refuel the butane torches they planned to use to light their bongs. The brother emptied a couple large cans of butane lighter fluid, leaking butane into the air. Eventually, butane vapor reached the pilot light in the furnace, causing the blast.

Watts said one of the brothers was taken to a hospital and the other to jail after the explosion. No report was made if their medical and legal fees with exceed $75,000.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*- 'Amorous' couple crash into house in car -*
DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. - The Florida Highway Patrol said a driver lost control of her car while getting "amorous" with her boyfriend and crashed the vehicle through a vacant house. Patrol spokeswoman Kim Montes said Asia Walker, 30, was at the wheel Friday when her car hit the house in Daytona Beach, WESH-TV, Orlando, Fla., reported Monday. Walker was injured by falling debris and taken to Halifax Medical Center to be checked out; her boyfriend, Charles Phillips, was not hurt, the spokeswoman said. "She told the investigating trooper that her and the boyfriend were getting a little amorous and the trooper suspects that's probably why she lost control of the vehicle," Montes said. Police said the vehicle went all the way through the unoccupied house, causing major damage. Walker was charged with careless driving.


*-- Man ordered to demolish castle --*
REDHILL, England - A British farmer who used haystacks to conceal construction of a castle on his property has been ordered to tear down the structure. Robert Fidler, 63, was ordered by the Planning Inspectorate to demolish Redhill, England, castle at the end of a six-year planning battle, The Sun reported Monday. Fidler concealed the castle, which includes ramparts and canons, behind a 40-foot stack of hay bales and tarpaulin for four years in an attempt to circumvent planning rules using a rule stating property built without permission but unchallenged for four years could not be "enforced against." However, the Reigate & Banstead Council said in 2007 Fidler's castle would not be granted retroactive planning permission because he "set out deliberately to deceive" the council. "His actions in constructing the dwelling house behind a wall of straw bales, and then living in the building for over four years before the bales were removed, was intended to conceal the building and its use from the council's knowledge and thus prevent any enforcement action being taken before it was too late," Inspector Sara Morgan wrote in the council's report. Fidler previously said he would take the battle to the European Court of Human Rights, if necessary. "This house will never be knocked down. This is a beautiful house that has been lovingly created. I will do whatever it takes to keep it," Fidler said.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
If they legalized soft drugs the drug dealers would instantly replace them with harder drugs like Crack Cocaine. You don't actually think the drug dealers will go off and work for a living do you? Legalizing one drug won't fix the sociological problem of illegal drugs. Legalizing everything will just create a much larger sub class of addicts. -John
[So you're solution is what? Euthanasia?]

All drugs should be made legal, Lewis, it's obvious to everyone but the Federal Government. We have lost the war on drugs and should put that money into a Federally mandated drug program seeking to make drugs safe for use. Users would have to be registered and can only get so much a day all of this to prevent overdose. The red tape alone would keep most people from using so that would solve many problems! -Patti
[So, what? Euthanasia is completely off the table now?]

Lewis, Have you seen this story? Police in Marseille, France have arrested identical twin brothers for a string of sexual assaults. Officers believe one, if not both men are to blame, but cannot be sure as the pair's DNA is nearly indistinguishable. -Keri

All the whining about the Carnival cruise has sure got to me. These days we think, if I paid my money, everything is guaranteed! If it was me, I'd chalk it up as a most awesome adventure of a lifetime, take my comp cruise at a later date, and thank you very much for the $500 for my troubles. I can only shudder at the conditions my ancestors faced boating over from Europe. -Rick
[You think shitting in a plastic bag for five days would be an adventure? I wouldn't exactly call it a nightmare like some of the complainers coming off the boat were doing, but I certainly wouldn't call it 'awesome'.]

I had a brain tumor but never had the urge to gamble away our family fortune or embezzle money. Her lawyer's defense in an insult to all brain tumor survivors who have remained law-abiding citizens! -Janis
[No, not everybody is turned into a degenerate gambler by the presence of a brain tumor. Some people get super powers like John Travolta did in Phenomenon.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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