Saturday, March 17, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

People die all the time. The world is a dangerous place. More dangerous for some than others. If you are a cop or a fire fighter or a fisherman in Alaska, there is an expectation of danger, even death. But if you work in a warehouse you don't expect to be killed, and certainly not by beans.

That is exactly what happened to a 56-year-old man in Colorado who was buried under a 20-foot mound of pinto beans.

Raymond Segura Jr. died at the Kelley Bean Company after efforts to reach him alive were unsuccessful.

Dozens of rescue workers and even four inmates from the county jail spent an hour digging through a mound of the legumes to get to the trapped worker, but he was dead when crews reached him.

Tragic, certainly, but not nearly as bizarre as the death of a California woman who died last week from a chainsaw injury. Now a chainsaw injury isn't all that bizarre. Chainsaws are dangerous things to begin with. You don't often see a woman swinging one around, but it is not completely out of the ordinary.

No, this death is bizarre because the authorities have concluded that it was a suicide. That's right, the 47-year-old was found with a fatal chainsaw wound to her neck and the LA County Coroner's Office determined it was self-inflicted.

Of all the ways to kill yourself; drugs, hanging, jumping off of a bridge, putting a pistol in your mouth, and dozens of other perfectly effective ways to punch your own ticket, why would you try to chop your own head off with a chainsaw?

Maybe I'm just a coward.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Urologists offer pizza with a vasectomy --*
SANDWHICH, Mass. - A Cape Cod, Mass., urologist is offering a free pizza to men who are seeking vasectomies in March, officials said. The Urology Associates of Cape Cod is running TV commercials offering a free pizza with a vasectomy, the Cape Cod (Mass.) Times reported Thursday. March Madness is also tied into the deal as a way of enticing men to undergo the procedure, which requires men to sit on the couch and rest for a few days. The ads feature an attractive woman playing with a basketball and a voice over that asks: "Hey guys! Want to watch the college basketball tournament guilt-free?" Then, the free pizza with a vasectomy offer is presented. "You know you've been thinking about a vasectomy, anyway. Now's the time to get it done," the voice over says. Urology Associates of Cape Cod administrator Evan Cohen said March is the busiest time of year for vasectomies for his practice, with perhaps 45 to 60 being performed. He said he hopes the pizza promotion -- a free one-topping pizza from Surf's Up Pizza and Seafood in Sandwich -- drums up some extra business. "It does actually come with one topping. Maybe you can put some meatballs on it," joked Cohen.

*-- Woman finds feather in McNuggets --*
ELKHART, Ind. - An Indiana woman said she found what she believes to be a feather in one of the chicken McNuggets she purchased from McDonald's. Raquel House said she bought the four-piece McNuggets Tuesday from the McDonald's on Cassopolis Street in Elkhart and she discovered the feather-like object when she took a bite from the second nugget, WBND-TV, South Bend, reported Thursday. "I started to feel like there was hair in my mouth, and that's when I saw that there was white hair on my tongue; and I looked at my food, and there was feathers coming off the nugget," House said. She said the incident has left her feeling nauseous. "I was really upset, I mean, now I've kind of calmed down but to me this is just being a responsible citizen in our community and that's just letting people know what's going on," House said. Harry Smith, owner of the McDonald's franchise in Elkhart, said Tuesday the matter is being investigated. "We take matters regarding food safety and quality very seriously and caution anyone from jumping to conclusions. Upon learning about this claim, we immediately began the process of collecting the facts. Our customer's health and safety is paramount," he said.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Hey, Lewis, a question about the woman who fell down the trash chute...did she ever get her cell phone back? -Chris
[No. It was trashed.]

as for the nose in the air idiots- my adopted Dad was a preacher. He never had a problem accepting donations that came from 'questionable' sources- He said "the Devil has had this money long enough, time for the Lord to use it". a $20.00 bill doesn't care who spends it. -Corky

She obviously was not too good of a fortune teller if she didn't see her future to know she was going to get arrested.
[You never see the headline: Psychic Wins Lottery, do you?]

I read the article about the Lennox Little League with disappointment, though, no surprise. How quick we are to be judgemental of an organization that accepts a charitable donation from a gentlemen's club? Then the press has, with no accountability, run the story, so the league has now decided it would be inappropriate to accept the donation. Me? I find it reprehensible that I take any part of today's media serious enough to get upset about anything I read. The only reason anything is written is to get some sort of reaction from a reader. Right about now, I'm feeling kinda used.
[Now you know how the girls at the strip club feel.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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