Bizarre News - December 3, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Last week TZ scooped me by finding a story about a pair of entrepreneurs who are planning to release a pill that will make a woman's vagina smell like peaches. Instead of sharing the story with me he wrote about it in Laff-a-Day.

After that I felt it would be anti-climactic to do the story in Bizarre News.

But a fruity vagina is small peaches compared with the innovation this Frenchman has come up with. It proposes to solve an affliction which has plagued humankind practically since recorded history.

The 65-year-old artist and inventor has developed a range of pills aimed at making people's flatulence smell sweeter; like chocolate or roses. Christian Poincheval says the pills are made of 100 percent natural ingredients and have been approved by health authorities.

For this year's festive season he has added a new product to the range which he has titled "The Father Christmas fart pill that gives your farts the scent of chocolate."

Mr. Poincheval said he came up with the idea for the pills one evening when he was enjoying a hearty meal with some friends.

"Our farts were so smelly we were nearly suffocated. Something had to be done," he said.

So he began researching natural ingredients that would reduce flatulence and after months of experimentation came up with the recipe for his pills.

He has been selling the pills since 2006 and says he sells several hundred a month.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- $40 desk contained $127,000 in bonds --*
WEYMOUTH, Mass. (UPI) - A Massachusetts man who bought a desk for $40 at an auction said a search for a missing knob turned up at least $127,000 worth of bonds. Phillip LeClerc, 60, of Weymouth, said he bought the desk for $40 on Nov. 19 at a Kelley Auctions sale and he went searching through the desk's many compartments when a knob came loose from a small drawer and fell off. LeClerc said he discovered the first envelope poking out from a small gap beneath a drawer and he soon had a stack of bonds that matured in 1992 and have since accumulated interest. He estimated the stack of bonds is worth a total of at least $127,000. LeClerc contacted Marge Kelley, president of the auction company. Kelley said the bonds were returned to a man who said the money will go toward caring for his 94-year-old father. "I've been doing this for 10 years and every day the stories get stranger and better and [more] fabulous," Kelley told the Boston Globe. "The gentleman whose family the bonds belong to, he can't even believe it. He said, 'I'm over the moon.'"


*-- Rowdy, smelly pig kicked off plane --*
WINDSOR LOCKS, Conn. (UPI) - A woman and her pot-bellied pig were booted off a Washington, D.C.-bound plane after passengers complained the pig was disruptive and stinky. The pig, thought to be about 70 pounds, had been brought aboard the US Airways plane at Bradley International Airport in Connecticut as an emotional-support animal. Crew members determined the animal was too disruptive and asked the woman to leave with the pig before the flight departed. Some people aboard the plane thought the woman was carrying a large duffle bag over her shoulder. "But it turns out it wasn't a duffel bag. We could smell it and it was a pig on a leash," Passenger Jonathan Skolnik told ABC News. "She tethered it to the arm rest next to me and started to deal with her stuff, but the pig was walking back and forth."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Hey Lewis! The story about the man who made a phony 911 call after he was stopped by a police officer reminds me of a story I read a few years ago. I love stories about dumb criminals, and this is one of my favorites. A man who planned to rob a convenience store thought he could evade capture by calling in a report about a robbery which would send police to a different location. Unfortunately, he gave the address of the place he intended to rob. -Jody
[That's what happens when you have too much on your mind. Multi-tasking is fine, but sometimes you just have to focus!]

Lewis, I thought in Illinois having an open alcohol container in your car was the same as a DWI, but they only gave the guy in the story a ticket. Don't you get arrested for that?
[Not exactly. As long as the driver is sober it is a traffic citation. However, if there is a second offense within one year, the driver's license will be suspended for one year. Not that I know from personal experience, or anything!]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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Send comments and questions to: LEWIS