Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

There is always that one lonely, awkward kid in high school who the teacher befriends, and then sometimes the student develops a crush on the teacher. Usually it ends there, unless you are one of those crazy types who think they can have a sexual affair with a fifteen or sixteen-year-old and keep it a secret.

And then there is this story, where the teacher, or track coach in this case, befriended the lonely, awkward kid and then went to prom with him.

The coach is Melissa Bowerman, 41, who had been coaching the Condon/Wheeler track and field team in Oregon.

Bowerman said attending the Condon High School prom with a boy from the track team was an error in judgment, but she said the pair did not have an inappropriate relationship. She said they danced to a few slow songs but mostly played ping pong and foosball.

The coach -- or former coach, rather -- who has a son on the track team, said she went to the prom because the boy felt bad that he lacked a date and had been struggling in English class.

"If they go on (academic) probation and suspension, then they can't go to the track meets," Bowerman said. "I said, 'OK, I will go with you, but we've got to talk about English first. You're going to do better in English."

So apparently the prom date was a success. It was only afterward that a problem arose.

"There was an investigation done and through that there were some potential details that arose," Condon superintendent Jan Zarate said. "We started an investigation that led to us asking her to un-volunteer."

Perhaps there was more ball play involved than on the foosball table. Either way I guess it's better than going to prom with your mom.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Harry Potter fans get rid of unwanted owls --*
ULGHAM, England - British bird sanctuaries said they are filling up with owls as Harry Potter-inspired pet owners get tired of the birds. Pam Toothill, of the Owlcenter in Corwen, Wales, said she had only six of the birds prior to the release of the first Harry Potter film, but the number has since grown to 100 owls, The Mirror reported Monday. "People saw Harry's owl in the movies and thought how cute and cuddly they looked. Now they are bored and fed-up with all the work involved looking after an owl," Toothill said. Kim Olson, owner of the Sanctuary Wildlife Care Center in Ulgham, England, said many people have been illegally releasing their pet owls into the wild. "When people saw Harry Potter loads of them wanted an owl. They've kept them in their shed or garage for a bit and now they've got bored and they hand them in to us," she said. "It's illegal to release an owl into the wild because they would take over from the native wild owls, but obviously a lot of people have ignored that law." Harry Potter author JK Rowling has asked her fans to do the proper research before deciding to obtain an owl as a pet. "If anybody has been influenced by my books to think an owl would be happiest shut in a small cage and kept in a house, I would like to take this opportunity to say as forcefully as I can, 'You are wrong,'" she said.

*-- School keeps prom separate from porn expo --*
MIAMI - Administrators at a Florida school said police were on hand to make sure their prom did not intermingle with a porn convention going on at the same venue. Gwen Zaldivar, the activities director for Miami Beach Senior High School, said extra security steps were taken when administrators discovered the prom held during the weekend would be sharing the Miami Beach Convention Center with the Exxxotica Expo pornography convention, WFOR-TV, Miami, reported Monday. "We ... hired police officers," Zaldivar said. "We [worked] with the Miami Beach Convention Center to make sure they have their security in place as well." Zaldivar said police, security workers and teachers stood guard at the venue to ensure the two events did not intermingle. School officials said their choices of prom venues were limited. "We do not hold our proms in venues such as hotels for the safety of our children and to discourage drinking," Zaldivar said. "Therefore this was the only available location and it's easy to control the students are safe."

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
But what about the woman who received the silicone? Was this a procedure that went horribly wrong? I see headlines on tabloids at the supermarkets where someone's cosmetic surgery went wrong, even when done by a licensed practitioner.
[Well, with all of the inflammation caused by the botched procedure her ass is bigger than ever.]

Lewis, I hope you're making a lot of $. You bring a lot of fun into my life, Sugar. Thanks from a fan in California.
[Well, I don't keep stacks of twenty dollar bills under the sink in the bathroom, but I squeak by. Thanks for the kudos.]

Lewis, you are the cat's knees, the bees pajamas! Bizarre News is funnier then "Psycho", more chilling than "Jeeves Takes Charge," and shorter than "War And Peace." You put the slent "e" in "awesome." --Ken

Lewis, did you hear about the former CNN executive who was going around putting dog crap in his neighbor's mail boxes in Atlanta?
[Yes, I did. And the first thing I thought about was that stupid Adam Sandler movie Billy Madison. Apparently it doesn't take either intelligence or even the ability to think rationally to be an executive for CNN.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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