Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

We always see the signs; "Please Don't Feed the Animals" and we figure it is common sense. Unless you are in a city park throwing bread crumbs to ducks or at a petting zoo, you don't want wild animals interested in you.

But apparently if you are in Alaska, and drunk, this obvious advice doesn't apply. At least the man in today's story didn't think it applied to him. He was wrong.

The Alaska Department of Fish and Game says a black bear mauled a man at a campground north of Anchorage. A spokesman said the bear was "pretty much goaded" into the attack near Eklutna Lake Campground because the man fed it meat from a church barbecue.

Alaska State Troopers spokeswoman Beth Ipsen says the man had been drinking and went for a bike ride, taking some of the food along. He came across the bear and threw it a piece of meat. When he offered the bear another piece, it attacked.

The man was treated for punctures wounds and scratches at an Anchorage hospital. As an added bonus he may be charged with illegally feeding wildlife.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*Thief apparently entered home through dog door*
SEATTLE - A Seattle man said a thief apparently squeezed through his home's 15-inch-by-10-inch doggie door to steal a haul of electronics. The Ballard neighborhood man, who asked to be identified only as Joel, said the thief apparently squeezed through the backyard door for his dog, Macy, while no one was home on a recent afternoon, KOMO-TV, Seattle, reported Monday. Joel said police couldn't find any sign of forced entry and determined the dog door was the most likely mode of entry. "They didn't come through any of the windows or doors, and so the dog door is the only other opening in the house," Joel said. "It's not big -- so it has to be somebody relatively small and willing to scrunch through the hole." "They had taken our laptops and our iPad and Kindle and some jewelry," the homeowner said of the thief or thieves. Police were investigating the incident.


*Woman faked cancer to get out of jail*
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - A Swedish woman who tried to get out a prison sentence by faking terminal cancer will serve an additional two months, authorities said. The Court of Appeals in southern Sweden said the 46-year-old woman had been sentenced to prison for aggravated fraud and produced a medical certificate saying she was dying of cancer in an attempt to get out of the sentence, The Local.se and the Swedish news agency TT reported Monday. The certificate was accepted by the Swedish Prison and Probation Service, but the ruse was discovered by the Social Insurance Agency. Doctors said the certificate was not very convincing. "You don't write that someone has three- to six months to live and you don't use the words 'sick with cancer,'" a doctor told the Metro newspaper. The woman told the court she made the fake certificate because she was worried about prison life. "I've never been to prison before and I didn't know what I had in store for me there," the woman said. The court added two months to the woman's sentence for the forgery charge.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
The question is, why he had for 2 wait 8 months of having an erection and the swelling involved before getting the problem with the device--especially with the swelling involved--corrected. Seems like that's something that would have been taken care of way earlier...did he wait that long on purpose? Seriously, what's up with that?
[I agree. I would have waited, at most, two months.]

Hi Lewis, This is from the Huffington Post UK. Enjoy. -Richard "A man has been warned by police after he dialled 999 to complain about a prostitute's looks after meeting her outside a hotel. West Midlands Police said they were contacted by the caller who said he "wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act". An officer in the call centre at Solihull, Birmingham, responded by telling the man the woman had not committed any offences and explained to him that soliciting for sex was illegal."

OMG! This story about a man holding a baby while selling heroin reminds me of an episode of MSNBC's "To Catch A Predator" where a man brought his pre-school age son along for his date with a supposedly underage girl that he met in an online chatroom.
[He probably just wanted to make the girl feel more comfortable by having someone closer to her own age around.]

I feel like we're missing the big story here. People in Florida stabbing each other for little to no reason is hardly surprising anymore. I think we should focus on the fact that the officer that took the statements was named Zipperer. How do you end up with that name? Did he have a distant ancestor who had a job zipping zippers?

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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Send comments and questions to: LEWIS