Bizarre News - March 7, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

There is an old joke about two men sitting in a bar when an attractive woman, a former co-worker of one of the men, comes in and sits down next to him. She tells him she had just had a fight with her husband, a police officer, and was thinking about getting out of the marriage and needed a shoulder to cry on.

They had been talking intimately for a few minutes when, as a joke, the second man leaned over to the first and said, "John, don't look now, but a guy about six-five just walked in, and he's got a gun."

Without hesitating, John turned to his friend and answered, "Quick, Ed, kiss me on the mouth!"

Now take this joke and substitute a fast food restaurant for the bar and you pretty much have today's story.

This happened in Chesapeake, Va. where Dylan Fell arranged to meet a woman he was dating in a McDonald's parking lot.

Moments later, a Portsmouth police officer arrived.

"She got in. About two minutes into it, a blue car pulled in behind me to block me in, and I looked in the rear view mirror, and I said, 'Who is that?' And she said, 'Oh, that's my husband,'" says Fell.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fell did not have a wingman to kiss on the mouth at the time.

He says he thought his date was separated from her husband, and surely didn't know the husband was an officer. But what happened led to charges and a complaint against police Sergeant Robert Huntington.

Fell says the sergeant tried to yank him out of his truck and arrest him for no reason.

"By that time, he reached through the window with both hands and grabs my shirt, and tries to pull me out this window. When he had grip of me, he took his left hand and hit me in my crotch, reaches for what I thought was a gun and I'm scared for my life and I take off," says Fell.

Hours later, Dylan filed an assault report with Chesapeake police and then went to Portsmouth police to file an internal affairs complaint.

Sergeant Huntington is now facing assault charges, but is still working for the department.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Weird 'National Days' in March --*
March 1: Peanut Butter Lovers' Day

March 3: If Pets Had Thumbs Day

March 6: National Frozen Food Day

March 8: Be Nasty Day

March 10: Middle Name Pride Day

March 13: Ear Muff Day

March 14: National Potato Chip Day

March 14: National Pi Day

March 19: Poultry Day

March 20: Proposal Day

March 21: National Quilting Day

March 25: Waffle Day

March 26: National Spinach Day

March 30: I am in Control Day


*-- Man sued Applebee's after burning himself while praying --*
WESTAMPTON, N.J. (UPI) - A New Jersey appeals court rejected a lawsuit from a man who alleged he suffered burns from his Applebee's fajita when he bowed his head to pray. Hiram Jimenez's lawsuit alleged he visited the Westampton restaurant in March 2010 with his brother, Rafael, and they decided to pray over their food. Jimenez said he bowed his face over his steak fajita, which was served on a skillet, and he soon heard a loud sizzling noise followed by a grease pop that led to a burning sensation on the left side of his face, including his eye. Jimenez, who alleged the waitress did not warn him the food was hot, said he knocked the plate over in a panic, causing the food to spill on his lap and incite further burns. None of the burns left any scarring, but Jimenez filed a lawsuit in state Superior Court, accusing the restaurant of negligently giving him hot food that led to serious injury. The Superior Court ruled against Jimenez, saying the danger caused by the sizzling fajita skillet was "open and obvious" when Jimenez chose to put his face near it. The two-judge appeals panel sided with the lower court. "Here, the danger posed by a plate of sizzling hot food was self-evident," the ruling stated.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Hi Lewis, I have been a fan and reader of Bizarre News for many years now but I have a story here of how our Canadian government helps our war veteran heroes. It's not bad enough that our vets have to prove limbs lost in battle did not grow back and have to prove that fact every 3 years not now these morons at Veterans Affairs want our fallen vets to prove their death. Can you believe this crap? -Gary.
"OTTAWA - Following the newly instated policy that requires veterans to verify lost limbs, Ottawa is now also requiring deceased veterans to prove their status every three years."
[I'd be surprised (and a little creeped out) if they actually starting receiving confirmations.]

Lewis, Found this this tonight--thought it might get a laugh and/or inclusion in thy newsletter: hugs, LilyKat "Hours after two llamas wreaked havoc on the streets of Phoenix, Arizona Thursday, the United States Northern Command answered the questions on everyone's minds: Who were the llamas working for? And do they have connections to the so-called Islamic State in Syria? The tweet from Northern Command reads: 'Llama had no known connections to ISIS. Appears to have self-radicalized.' It's nice to know we're safe."

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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