Bizarre News - October 7, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Women are loyal, steadfast and resolute. They will dedicate the best years of their lives to the right man. But...they can be volatile creatures in certain circumstances, like when you call your wife somebody else's name in the bedroom.

The man in today's story should have know he was married to a little firecracker, because when he pulled this particular boner his wife gave him more than he expected.

39-year-old Christina Balazi of Florida, was arrested for stabbing her husband with a kitchen knife after he called her by the name of another woman during sex.

Christina Balazi was charged with attempted murder. Police said that the couple was "being intimate" inside their home when her husband mistakenly called her another woman's name.

Christina pulled a sheet over her husband's head and stabbed him with a kitchen knife, according to the police report.

The husband, Christopher Balazi, told police his wife of 10 years straddled him and stabbed him in the chest and neck at least seven times.

Mr. Balazi finally managed to wrestle the knife away from his wife and he ran outside to get help.

Christina got into her car and tried to flee, but was arrested after a brief police chase. She admitted to stabbing her husband because he had uttered the name of another woman in bed.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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* Texas girl's nonstop sneezing baffles doctors *
ANGLETON, Texas - The family of a 12-year-old Texas girl who has been sneezing up to 20 times per minute for the past month said doctors are stumped by the condition. Angleton resident Katelyn Thornley,12, said her sneezing fits began about a month ago and she has since been sneezing up to 20 times per minute -- about 12,000 times per day. "I'm constantly in pain with my abdomen, my legs are hurting because I've been weak and I can barely eat," Thornley told KTVT-TV. The girl's parents said they have taken her to six different physicians, who ruled out allergies and viruses as a cause of the nonstop sneezing. They said stress appears to make the condition worse. "Anything you talk to her about that irritates her -- you can see it spike and continuous sneezing," Thornley's father told KRIV-TV. "It's easy to trigger." Thornley said she takes Benadryl to help her sleep at night. "Sometimes I wish I could leave my body for a little while so i could watch myself sleep and be at peace because even in my dreams, I sneeze," she said.


*-- Santa Claus campaigning for North Pole City Council --*
NORTH POLE, Alaska - The city of North Pole, Alaska, announced the candidates for City Council include a man with the appropriate legal name of Santa Claus. The North Pole Clerk's office said Santa Claus, whose festive moniker is his legal name and is listed on his driver's license, is running a write-in campaign for the North Pole City Council. The office said there is only one other candidate for the office, fellow write-in hopeful La Nae Bellamy. Claus, former president of the North Pole Chamber of Commerce, describes himself as "a child advocate" and "a Christian monk" on his Facebook page. The page makes an important distinction between Claus the aspiring politician and Santa Claus the legend -- "PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME REQUESTS FOR PRESENTS," the Facebook page reads. "The greatest gift one can give is love." The election is scheduled for Tuesday. Santa Claus previously ran a short-lived campaign for president of the United States in 2012.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Wow, where to start. Was the bandit under the influence of intoxicating substances BECAUSE of the maxi-pad? Re the airline disruptor, if my significant other exposed her breasts every time she was tired and a bit grumpy I would be the happiest guy on the planet. -Z
[Depends on how nice the breasts are.]

Lewis, I eat at Taco Bell all the time and it's quite good. I suspect the reason it doesn't affect me as it does you, the Gopher staff and many others is that I don't go there after consuming beverages of various alcohol content for 6 to 8 hours. -Chicago Kid
[Admittedly. It is very possible that a belly full of antiseptic alcohol may ameliorate the poisonous effects of Taco Bell. I have never been drunk enough to experiment with it.]

Skipping the meat will work right up until being a Vegetarian kills you. Why is it so many vegetarians who are anorexically thin with health issues claim it is healthy? -John
[A largely vegetarian diet is healthy. It's the strict vegans who are afraid of eggs, milk, cheese and even gelatin, who look like walking corpses.]

E cigarettes are just vapor that disappears as fast as it appears, no odor or toxins at all are going to get you whiners. Be sure you also object to any hot steam producing liquids i.e. coffee, tea, soup, in case you didn't know, that mist coming off those items is VAPOR!
[While we're at it let's ban halitosis.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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