Saturday, June 4, 2011Greetings fellow Bizarros:I have to admire the ambition of this particular thief in Florida, not to mention his physical ability. I say this because I have a 52-inch television in my house and I find it impossible to move without two people.
So somebody stole a TV. Hardly bizarre. But there is more to the story. Not only was this enterprising perpetrator able to snatch a gargantuan 59-inch set single-handedly, but he also made his escape on a bicycle.
Police say it wasn't hard to spot the suspect. A bike patrol officer says the 23-year-old had wedged the television between the handlebars and his lap as he pedaled along early in the morning.
According to reports, he panicked when he saw the police officer, eventually ditching the bike and the stolen television. Police caught up with the suspect in a nearby backyard and questioned him.
Officers later spoke with residents who had reported a burglary. They said they'd been asleep when someone pried open a side door and took the TV. The thief now faces several charges, including felony theft and defying the laws of physics.
Bizarrely,
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+-- Even More Bizarre June Holidays --+June 21 is Cuckoo Warning Day
June 22 is National Chocolate Eclair Day
June 23 is National Pink Day
June 24 is Museum Comes To Life Day
June 25 is Log Cabin Day
June 26 is National Chocolate Pudding Day
June 27 is National Columnists Day
June 28 is Paul Bunyan Day
June 29 is Camera Day
June 30 is Meteor Day
+-- Man arrested for selling Obama condoms --+NEW YORK - New York police arrested a man for a third time for selling condoms bearing President Obama's image despite a court ruling in his favor. Jose Andujar, 43, was arrested Friday in Times Square for selling the Obama condoms, and police said it was his third arrest for unlicensed peddling in the past year, the New York Post reported Tuesday. A State Supreme Court justice previously ruled Andujar does not need a vending license to sell the condoms, and his products are protected under his First Amendment right to free speech. However, police said Andujar will continue to be subject to arrest pending the outcome of the city's appeal. Andujar uses politically themed slogans to sell his wares, including "It's the election, erection for your protection" and "It's the ultimate stimulus package for hard times."
+-- Man arrested after naked dancing outdoors --+LAKEWOOD RANCH, Fla. - Authorities in Florida said they arrested an intoxicated man who was spotted dancing naked outside while listening to his iPod. Manatee County sheriff's deputies said Eric Echales was spotted dancing naked at the roadside Monday in Lakewood Ranch, WWSB-TV, Sarasota, Fla., reported Wednesday. Deputies said Echales, who appeared to be under the influence of alcohol, was arrested near the intersection of Balmoral Woods Boulevard and Arnold Palmer Green and he told a deputy he was naked because he "wanted to feel free." Echales was charged with indecent exposure and was released on bond.
+-- READER COMMENTS --+Now that is what I am talking about.. Finally a column that
takes more than 30 seconds to read. Wow you really did a good job with this column KEEP up the good work. -Shelley
[Thanks Shelley. I'll do my best.]
The more bizarre news the better! keep up the good work. -Tony
[With a government spawning ideas like Future Attribute Screening Technology and a population getting dumber and dumber by the day, I doubt we'll run into a shortage of Bizarre News any time soon.]
This new format sucks big time. Get rid of it. Who's stupid f___ing idea was it anyway? Fire the idiot. Truly yours, J.F.
[They can't fire me. I have a contract.]
Lewis, The guy who spent $3000 on therapy for his sausage addiction said he didn't think there was anything wrong with his eating sausages so he has wasted his money. -Wes
[As a younger man I hoped to find a woman with a sausage addiction.]
I checked into Future Attribute Screening Technology and it is real. I even found it the DHS website! -Ruth
[That's when you know the government either thinks it is above its own laws or that the citizenry is too stupid or know or too apathetic to care...when they don't even try to hide their criminal activity anymore.]
Lewis, For years our Behavior Analysis Unit (BAU) has been able to analyze written statements to determine persons to be watched for probable acts of terrorism. You fit the profile. Spokesman, Department of Homeland Security
[Fortunately profiling is illegal...at least while trying to get through airport security.]
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